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hugtopiamods) wrote in
hugtopia_logs2020-09-14 07:59 pm
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Entry tags:
- c: ardyn lucis caelum,
- c: ciel phantomhive,
- c: cloud strife,
- c: devon darconin,
- c: dorothy pratt,
- c: goofy,
- c: honerva,
- c: kaito,
- c: keith,
- c: kyoko mogami,
- c: lup,
- c: minato arisato,
- c: mitsuri kanroji,
- c: noctis lucis caelum,
- c: nyx ulric,
- c: princess peach,
- c: prompto argentum,
- c: pyra/mythra/pneuma,
- c: regis lucis caelum cxiii,
- c: sasuke sarutobi,
- c: satoru gojo,
- c: sephiroth,
- c: shinji ikari,
- c: verstael besithia,
- c: vianca,
- c: will,
- event
♥ September (Ohnir) Event Log

September (Ohnir) Event Log
The month of Ohnir brings with it a slow but steady relief from the heat, as summer gives way to autumn and the city begins to change with it. Plants are slowly deflowering, leaves are starting to fade and fall, and while the season is not yet in full swing, all the signs are there if you know where to look. The city is abuzz with new energy as the residents realize that for the first time in centuries, they have some actual nature clean-up ahead of them: raking leaves, pruning branches, protecting young wildlife and fresh plants from the incoming chills of winter. Such work used to be relegated to those who cared for the botanical gardens and zoos, but now everyone who's been enjoying this year's garden harvest has to learn how to future-proof their treasured flowers. Offworlders are encouraged to do the same, lest all of the growth be lost over the winter.
❥ PROMPT I: A Clean Getaway

With all of the work to be done, it's no surprise that some are looking for new ways to refresh themselves and relax, and what better time would there be to open up the Public Baths! All the volunteer work cleaning the place has paid off, and the facilities are officially open and available for use. It is technically free to use, as a public facility, but those visiting are encouraged to tithe a small donation once in a while to pay for upkeep and freshen up the place, provide new soaps, etc. No judgment if you can't! It'll just make everything that much nicer in the long run.
The baths are separated into a few sections: oil baths for the native residents, and water baths for the offworlders. For obvious reasons, offworlders are encouraged not to enter the robot-residential sections! Though they are not strictly forbidden... it would be quite messy and bad for your health.
The offworlder half has additional separated sections that may interest characters when they visit:
1) Hot Springs Style - Clothed or Unclothed: there are 3 available rooms for each, one for separate presented genders, and a shared bath for those comfortable with the concept or don't wish to use either male or female. Each room has one larger pool and a few smaller sets, so you can sit by yourself or with others as you please.
2) Pool: a shared public pool! The water is nice and cool, which should be a comfort to those still struggling with the lingering summer heat. There is some water game equipment available for open use if people want to play and get their sports on.
3) Sauna: similar to the springs, once again, there are 3 rooms for gender splits so everyone can enjoy the place at their own comfort level.
It all seems very nice and relaxing for everyone, but this wouldn't be a proper event without some shenanigans now, would it? There are a few effects that may occur within the baths, and these effects are somewhat random. Some characters may experience them to a powerful degree, while others feel nothing at all. Players can decide for themselves who and where these will affect, so feel free to mix, match, and go wild. The effects are:
The baths are separated into a few sections: oil baths for the native residents, and water baths for the offworlders. For obvious reasons, offworlders are encouraged not to enter the robot-residential sections! Though they are not strictly forbidden... it would be quite messy and bad for your health.
The offworlder half has additional separated sections that may interest characters when they visit:
1) Hot Springs Style - Clothed or Unclothed: there are 3 available rooms for each, one for separate presented genders, and a shared bath for those comfortable with the concept or don't wish to use either male or female. Each room has one larger pool and a few smaller sets, so you can sit by yourself or with others as you please.
2) Pool: a shared public pool! The water is nice and cool, which should be a comfort to those still struggling with the lingering summer heat. There is some water game equipment available for open use if people want to play and get their sports on.
3) Sauna: similar to the springs, once again, there are 3 rooms for gender splits so everyone can enjoy the place at their own comfort level.
It all seems very nice and relaxing for everyone, but this wouldn't be a proper event without some shenanigans now, would it? There are a few effects that may occur within the baths, and these effects are somewhat random. Some characters may experience them to a powerful degree, while others feel nothing at all. Players can decide for themselves who and where these will affect, so feel free to mix, match, and go wild. The effects are:
- The spring water is so relaxing that you feel free and more willing to talk about yourself, or share your feelings more openly.
- The swimming pool is cool and energizing, making you want to horse around and play with others nearby. You may also feel inclined to drape yourself onto others, like a cool, comfy pillow.
- The sauna has you dishing up spicy hot takes, releasing negative emotions or complaints, and makes you a little more inclined to gossip.
❥ PROMPT II: REM Stands for Realistic Emotional Memory in These Parts

Characters who were around last year might remember a bout of strange and sporadic dreams that plagued the town around this season, along with the sensation that they were being followed. This year, dreams once more enter uninvited to one's mind, but this time, it occurs as a random daydream while they are awake, and it is very different from person to person- instead encouraging you to do the following. All visions start out hazy, like a grainy old movie where details and figures are difficult to make out, but there is something both familiar and alien about it. It feels like a memory… but it is not your memory. Over time, the visual begins to clear the more often the dream repeats, until slowly the images grow more distinct, offering clearer faces, the addition of voices, discernable quotes or expressions. The memory will provide hints as to who it might belong to, though the subtlety of those hints will likely vary. Before too long, if you have not found a way to rid yourself of the dream, you will experience an entire memory of another person in town as if you were witnessing it from their perspective!
Now, how does one rid themselves of these strange visions? You could wait it out, if you're patient enough and not inclined to seek the answer, but those who've been here long enough can wager a guess: you must find the source of that memory and "send" it back to them through physical interaction of some kind. Some memories may take longer to transfer than others, and it may depend on the person, the memory itself, how clear the memory has become in the time you carried it… no two experiences are likely to be the same.
There are a few specifics about these memories that are worth noting:
Now, how does one rid themselves of these strange visions? You could wait it out, if you're patient enough and not inclined to seek the answer, but those who've been here long enough can wager a guess: you must find the source of that memory and "send" it back to them through physical interaction of some kind. Some memories may take longer to transfer than others, and it may depend on the person, the memory itself, how clear the memory has become in the time you carried it… no two experiences are likely to be the same.
There are a few specifics about these memories that are worth noting:
- the memory should be of a single event, not a series of events that span a long period of time. For example, you could witness the stretch of someone's day at a wedding or long party (sped up to skip insignificant moments so it doesn't play in real time), but not a memory of an entire war that goes for months. How long the memory goes for is up to the player that the memory belongs to, as long as it falls within these guidelines.
- you are not limited to a single memory from a single person. Once you have solved one vision, after a certain amount of time, you may find yourself plagued with another.
- you will not necessarily end up having the same memory partner! You won't always have the memory of the person who has your memory. Characters are encouraged to pair up and try to piece together clues that might lead you to your intended partner. Help each other out and guide one another in the right direction if you can.
- those whose memory has been borrowed may find it difficult to recall it; it can seem fuzzy and indistinct, missing entirely or simply missing choice details. Through physical contact, that memory will fully return to them and both participants can experience it together.
- you can find your partner accidentally! If you're still searching for clues and happen to touch your partner through other circumstances - such as shake their hand at first meeting, or hug a friend - you may find both of you are suddenly experiencing a memory together as it is transferred! Aren't you lucky, to have found your partner so easily?
❥ PROMPT III: I Shall Fight With My Bear Hands

Closer to the tail end of the month, one of the research facilities distributes a "Help Wanted" advertisement through the network, requesting the aid of offworlders. The advertisement reads:
"Calling all offworlders! Havenwell Research and Development is seeking volunteers for both physical prowess and supernatural ability testing. All are welcome! Even if you have no combat skills and feel only a desire to learn, we have a job for you. Those who already possess some form of self-defense or combative powers will be partnered and asked to "spar" in a partially digitized facility, or proceed with a simulation that will gauge destructive capabilities. And for those who possess neither, don't worry! Our program is specially designed to help you discover just where your talents lie.
No harm should come to any volunteers, as this is strictly simulation-based, similar to the virtual reality technology already widely used throughout the city. However, in case of any accidents, medical staff is on site to treat injuries as needed. Additionally, there is no need for you to wear any of the VR headgear typically required in our cafes, so if these devices cause you discomfort, this may be a simulation that better meets your needs.
Please contact us ASAP if you are willing and able to help. A monetary commission will be awarded upon completion of each session."
Any volunteers or inquiries will be provided with more information, and invited to one of the research towers located in town. They are guided to a floor that is abuzz with activity, partnered with whoever happens to be scheduled at the same time or a partner they themselves opted to bring with them, and taken to a room akin to Star Trek's holodeck. There, they can input "powers" or "no powers", and a simulation will be created for them based on their selected guidelines.
With Powers:
The console invites characters to select one of two options- their own abilities, or temporarily gain access to the elemental powers offered via AC Rewards (point levels 50, 100, and 200). They are able to choose a particular power level for the duration of the simulation, which can either dampen their natural abilities to a more fair level for the test you're undertaking, or remain normal. While in the simulation room, rather than actually using any real abilities, the room will materialize whatever ability you choose without causing true damage to either the room or your opponent. Science, or magic? It's probably both. Feel free to go wild and have fun, maybe try some powers you've never experienced before or vent your frustrations on being stuck here!
Without Powers:
The console invites characters to select a type of weapon and skill level, and said weapon will materialize in a basic form; while held inside the room it moves and feels real, but it cannot be removed from the facility. Those who are skilled in utilizing said weapon are free to wield it as if it were the genuine article in their chosen simulation. Those without much or any skill will be walked through a tutorial on basic techniques from a variety of styles, old or new, most unfamiliar but well suited to the body type of the person using the program. It's quite intuitive, though it is by no means perfect, so characters might end up being guided through a stranger workout than intended.
For versus mode, each participant has an HP bar displayed above their heads, and everyone has the same HP unless both players select an unbalanced mode, and the goal is to force your opponent to hit zero HP. Characters can also choose how realistic the simulated violence is and how the process feels: in low realism, it's similar to laser tag, where characters flash a colour when hit and take damage without feeling anything more than some uncomfortable vibration. In high realism, pain is genuine to a certain degree depending on how high a level they choose, though it is artificial and will fade as soon as the program ends. Hitting zero HP will not result in a knock-out, but characters will feel dizzy and be forced to sit down, unable to rise again until they surrender. All effects wear off as soon as the simulation ends.
For demonstration mode, participants are given a selection of virtual targets to practice on using whatever method of combat they've chosen. It could be moving targets, such as creatures that have invaded the barrier previously (via the Wild Wild prompt), or simulations of the more dangerous beasts in the museum/zoo areas of town. It could be simple targets built to take a beating without providing much challenge in return. It could be a collection of buildings that characters can break or explode as they please. This mode is designed to gauge just how strong a person's destructive potential is, either with their own powers or with powers granted to those who have been blessed by their patron god.
Characters are welcome to volunteer as many times as there are available partners and/or slots! So feel free to try a few times using different options.
"Calling all offworlders! Havenwell Research and Development is seeking volunteers for both physical prowess and supernatural ability testing. All are welcome! Even if you have no combat skills and feel only a desire to learn, we have a job for you. Those who already possess some form of self-defense or combative powers will be partnered and asked to "spar" in a partially digitized facility, or proceed with a simulation that will gauge destructive capabilities. And for those who possess neither, don't worry! Our program is specially designed to help you discover just where your talents lie.
No harm should come to any volunteers, as this is strictly simulation-based, similar to the virtual reality technology already widely used throughout the city. However, in case of any accidents, medical staff is on site to treat injuries as needed. Additionally, there is no need for you to wear any of the VR headgear typically required in our cafes, so if these devices cause you discomfort, this may be a simulation that better meets your needs.
Please contact us ASAP if you are willing and able to help. A monetary commission will be awarded upon completion of each session."
Any volunteers or inquiries will be provided with more information, and invited to one of the research towers located in town. They are guided to a floor that is abuzz with activity, partnered with whoever happens to be scheduled at the same time or a partner they themselves opted to bring with them, and taken to a room akin to Star Trek's holodeck. There, they can input "powers" or "no powers", and a simulation will be created for them based on their selected guidelines.
With Powers:
The console invites characters to select one of two options- their own abilities, or temporarily gain access to the elemental powers offered via AC Rewards (point levels 50, 100, and 200). They are able to choose a particular power level for the duration of the simulation, which can either dampen their natural abilities to a more fair level for the test you're undertaking, or remain normal. While in the simulation room, rather than actually using any real abilities, the room will materialize whatever ability you choose without causing true damage to either the room or your opponent. Science, or magic? It's probably both. Feel free to go wild and have fun, maybe try some powers you've never experienced before or vent your frustrations on being stuck here!
Without Powers:
The console invites characters to select a type of weapon and skill level, and said weapon will materialize in a basic form; while held inside the room it moves and feels real, but it cannot be removed from the facility. Those who are skilled in utilizing said weapon are free to wield it as if it were the genuine article in their chosen simulation. Those without much or any skill will be walked through a tutorial on basic techniques from a variety of styles, old or new, most unfamiliar but well suited to the body type of the person using the program. It's quite intuitive, though it is by no means perfect, so characters might end up being guided through a stranger workout than intended.
For versus mode, each participant has an HP bar displayed above their heads, and everyone has the same HP unless both players select an unbalanced mode, and the goal is to force your opponent to hit zero HP. Characters can also choose how realistic the simulated violence is and how the process feels: in low realism, it's similar to laser tag, where characters flash a colour when hit and take damage without feeling anything more than some uncomfortable vibration. In high realism, pain is genuine to a certain degree depending on how high a level they choose, though it is artificial and will fade as soon as the program ends. Hitting zero HP will not result in a knock-out, but characters will feel dizzy and be forced to sit down, unable to rise again until they surrender. All effects wear off as soon as the simulation ends.
For demonstration mode, participants are given a selection of virtual targets to practice on using whatever method of combat they've chosen. It could be moving targets, such as creatures that have invaded the barrier previously (via the Wild Wild prompt), or simulations of the more dangerous beasts in the museum/zoo areas of town. It could be simple targets built to take a beating without providing much challenge in return. It could be a collection of buildings that characters can break or explode as they please. This mode is designed to gauge just how strong a person's destructive potential is, either with their own powers or with powers granted to those who have been blessed by their patron god.
Characters are welcome to volunteer as many times as there are available partners and/or slots! So feel free to try a few times using different options.
❥ PROMPT IV: A Bonus Trip Down Memory Lane
Last year, some offworlders might remember the tradition of sharing stories in the temple of Ohma, to offer small tributes to the god on their first month of devotion. It is that time of the year again, and everyone is welcome to return and share more stories, or perhaps retell an old favourite to a new audience. Here is the event as described previously:
Ohma's temple is particularly lively during Ohnir and the priests are busy cleaning and sweeping, decorating it with rolls of parchment and digital inkwells and quills that write as if they were actually fountain pens. The natives, especially adherents of Ohma, start to make pilgrimages to the temple in little processions, some playing music, others flying banners.
Anyone who chooses to follow can observe the natives going up to the altar and sharing stories with one another. They talk about things they did over the past year or things that are far, far in their past. Some of the stories are happy and result in the procession laughing and some are...well, not everyone returns safely from certain disasters that befall the city throughout the year. The priests diligently write every story down on those parchment rolls and deposit them onto the waiting altar, where they're summarily lit on fire to the cheers of those present. The more emotional the story it seems, the brighter and bluer the flame that it emits and the louder the procession cheers.
As the file out, they notice you watching and urge you to go up with someone else in the temple to clear your heart and offer up your own stories. They can be stories of home, information about your worlds, or stories about your life.
Ohma's temple is particularly lively during Ohnir and the priests are busy cleaning and sweeping, decorating it with rolls of parchment and digital inkwells and quills that write as if they were actually fountain pens. The natives, especially adherents of Ohma, start to make pilgrimages to the temple in little processions, some playing music, others flying banners.
Anyone who chooses to follow can observe the natives going up to the altar and sharing stories with one another. They talk about things they did over the past year or things that are far, far in their past. Some of the stories are happy and result in the procession laughing and some are...well, not everyone returns safely from certain disasters that befall the city throughout the year. The priests diligently write every story down on those parchment rolls and deposit them onto the waiting altar, where they're summarily lit on fire to the cheers of those present. The more emotional the story it seems, the brighter and bluer the flame that it emits and the louder the procession cheers.
As the file out, they notice you watching and urge you to go up with someone else in the temple to clear your heart and offer up your own stories. They can be stories of home, information about your worlds, or stories about your life.
This event will run from September 14th to 30th. Click on each prompt's title to see the text. If you have any questions, feel free to direct them to the FAQ or to the Mod Question thread.
no subject
Honerva looks up from where she had been sitting and studying one of her tablets when she hears them approach, rising to properly greet the king. ]
... Thank you for coming. I am sorry for the inconvenience it has caused you.
[ Even if she knows he may not consider it as such. ]
no subject
If anyone should be apologizing it's the gods of othis place for allowing such a thing to happen. It's I whose been allowed int your memories without your permission. Whatever I can do to make this easier on you is my pleasure. Shall we sit?
[He motions back toward where she was seated before he came in, the suggestion seeming to be more for her benefit than his.]
How would you like to approach this? I can start telling you of what I saw from the beginning if you like. It seems as though it is a happy memory, but you have never spoken of a child, and I am well aware what begins as a happy memory does not necessarily remain that way.
no subject
[ She nods though, gesturing for him to return with her to the sofa so that they can sit together. She speaks softly, though there is something pained in her expression, when he mentions her child. ]
Even with some preparation of the context you have already provided, it is one thing to hear it and another to... experience it. My memory of those times... has not always been clear. Even less so now.
[ Losing memories and then not being aware of what was lost was painfully and ironically familiar. ]
no subject
The memory started in what I assume is your bedroom. You are feeling overjoyed to share the good news with your husband. I...
[He pauses a moment to chuckle before continuing.]
Forgive me. I just keep recalling when your younger self spoke of him. He is in every way just as imposing as was said. It is no wonder he is able to rule so many, and yet, for all that, he was so very gentle with you.
[Regis' lips press into a line clearly showing how uncomfortable he is to have seen such an intimate moment.]
You discuss what you will name your child when he is born. You suggest " Lotarious," while he suggests "Kaltor," but the difference in what each name represents doesn't make you hesitate at all. You suggest that perhaps there is a way you can still honor both, but the memory ends there, before you give voice to the compromise.
Does that bring anything back to mind for you?
no subject
Her brow creases. She... can't remember. She knows the shape of this memory, though not from her own experience of it, but the feeling it stirs is there, the ache for a lost time, riddled with complication. She shakes her head slightly, with a soft exhale. ]
... Lotor.
[ Which doesn't answer his question, and is likely disconcerting enough to hear from anyone, especially one who's said so little otherwise, but the weight of it is there. Hard to know how much to trust him with, when all was said and done. ]
I am grateful that the vision you have received of my husband was... from as he had been, back then. The both of us.
no subject
[Regis can see just how hard this is on her and it makes him feel worse for having to bring it up. Yet, at least he can offer some comfort if she will allow it. He reaches out, a silent request for permission to take her hands.]
You have both changed between that memory and now, perhaps not all for the good. If that is the case, I am happy to have gotten to see such a joyous moment of the time before. I would hate for people to only know me and my wife through my memories of her death.
no subject
[ It was comforting for someone to see those parents that had wanted him, as proof that they had been real even as Honerva still grapples with the difficulties of past, present and future.
It was complicated, of course, but... Regis had always been kind. She did not know how much he would understand, given the burden of his own grief had not exploited him to become... an extremely different person. Though when she notices him ready to take her hands she slowly holds her own out that he might do so. ]
no subject
There is one little thing he can relate to, though, and it is that he focuses on.]
I don't know the details of what befell you and your husband. I've wondered from time to time about your past, but I've never pressed because I could see you were hurting. Did I do you a disservice? I'm not sure, but I do know that we cannot always control the roads that fate takes us down. If you had been given the choice, you would never have left your son alone and without the parental love that every child deserves, just as I would not have left Noctis.
[Of course, the different being that he at least had some time with Noctis where it sounds she like she had none with her own son.]
Please don't blame yourself for that. Lingering on such hurt only breeds more hurt.
no subject
That their situation might be comparable in some ways though not at all in others has not been lost on her. But it remains no less complicated to talk about, let alone safe enough to. It is... difficult, because it has been so many years, an absurd amount of time that might even make Ardyn double take at. ]
... I have never... held him.
[ She murmurs softly, after a while. ]
It was not something I had known to miss, until... recently. Too recently, in comparison to all of that. Circumstances were beyond all of us but it is difficult to reflect upon them in any other way.
no subject
[Regis' hands tighten unconsciously on hers. His heart breaks for her, and that is clear in his voice. How would he feel if he never got to hold Noctis? The very thought makes his chest tighten in pain; it's almost as if someone has driven shards of glass into him.]
I don't know if not knowing is a blessing or a curse. Perhaps, it is both. All I know is that no parent should be denied the chance to hold and love their child. If I could somehow give that to you, I would without hesitation. You deserve to know how it feels.
no subject
[ Perhaps this has gone far beyond his ability to grasp, but the memory has settled, the contrasts in her mind so starkly there. ]
His father became a tyrant that... conquered galaxies with his anger, with the loss of his gentleness and obsession for power. His mother was gone, transformed into his father's witch, loyally devoted to his service without ever realizing that most of what Emperor sought to control or destroy were filled with reminders of who she had once been. An empty calling. And yet our child grew up, seeking the truth of his mother's people that was denied to him for so long.
[ A slight pause for breath. She's said much, perhaps because she feels undeserving of such sympathy from someone like Regis, bracing herself for his eventual rejection. ]
... When I saw Lotor last, he denied me. The mother he had yearned for was someone who I had long ceased to be.
And... now you know.
no subject
The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
[The words are so soft that it's hard to tell if he even meant to speak them out loud. Though it is barely comparable, Regis himself would send his son out into the world unknowing and unprepared. It was to be an attempt to give him what little last little bit of happiness he could give him. Yet, those very actions had made Noctis angry with him and had left him without vital information he should have had. Was he wrong act as he had even though those actions had come from a place of love?]
I won't insult you by saying I understand how you feel. There is no way I will ever know baring another incident like the one that brought us here tonight.
[And even then he had still been an outsider. A witness to events, not an actor in them.]
All I can say is this: Even those who do great evil have hearts, and those hearts bleed just as readily as any others. Their emotions may lead them to do acts the world may never forgive them for, but that doesn't mean those emotions cannot be understood. It's not my place to forgive you for the past; I just ask you not to hate yourself for what happened. You yourself said that you never met your son. The image he had of his mother was not you. It never was you. It couldn't have been. Perhaps, if he had time to know you now it would be different, but he would need to get to know you not the ideal he has developed in his head.
no subject
[ Her hands tremble in his, ears remaining cast downward. He is not the first to ask her not to hate herself for it, that person she had been before arriving at the self she is now, the person she had been before then, being so weak for all of this to happen at all.
Perhaps if it were anyone else, she would not judge them at all for it, but since it is herself, how could she not be harsh? She can only look back at lost lifetimes through a clouded veil, only to ironically come back into contact with a mere concept of who she had once been for all of it. She does not even blame her husband as much as she focuses her own displaced hatred on herself. Feeling the fresher memories of being so much younger and happy only contrast with everything else.
It's a lot. But she's -- here, not there. The future is ahead, not back. And her son is... beyond her reach. As he's always been. ]
But the past, as it is, cannot be changed. Moving forward is the only way, and not ever going back to that life.
no subject
Others have asked you to do this, haven't they? It's an easy thing to ask, but much harder to do. We always expect more of ourselves than we do others.
[Regis lets his fingers gently rub over the backs of those trembling hands. It is all he can do to try and bring peace to a pain that has existed for so long.]
You are correct in that. There is a phrase I try to live by back home: "One cannot lead by standing still. A king pushes onward always, accepting the consequences and never looking back."
This is something I think applies not just to kings, but to everyone. Some feel it is a way of ignoring the past and not thinking about the error of ones ways, but I believe it to be the opposite. It is a person learning from their mistakes and not allowing themselves to be mired down by them. Sometimes it feels impossible to continue on, but doing so is the only way to grow beyond those mistakes. One cannot grow and make up for their mistakes if they don't allow themselves to continue living.
no subject
[ Another reason why she yet struggles to accept the person she had been, to give herself forgiveness for her own weakness and inability to see past the insidiousness that had crept into their lives, isolated them. She understood that people... liked her and cared for her and even accepted her as she was now, but they had also not lived in her prior universe and thus did not have awareness of the reach or extent of the corruption there. ]
And yes... others have asked. Sometimes, often. It is difficult to do. Everything that has happened because of me either directly or indirectly... it is too much. Were you on a planet that was affected by what became of us, you might not view me so favorably either.
no subject
[Regis won't deny this. He would be a completely different person if he lived on one of the plants that were affected by what happened to Honerva and her husband, but this is the reason 'what ifs' are so dangerous. There are a million different possibilities and no way to know exactly how one will react when placed into one of them aside from 'different.']
I know that some of the refugees who have come to the capital feel resentment toward me no matter what I do to help them. They have been hurt in ways I cannot understand, and I have failed to help them. Could I have done something different? Yes, there are a million different things I could have done at any one time, but this is why we can't listen to those 'what ifs.' It is an easy way to be stuck in the past instead of living in the now.
[He gives her hands another squeeze and then smiles gently at her.]
I am sure you know this, but just in case you need a reminder.
no subject
Where is the line drawn, then? She can only be the person she is now through very unique circumstances, with no guarantee that it would last, and that is the living horror in it.
She exhales, softly, taking in his words and making sense of why he's said them. He hasn't experienced her universe or her ills, it's far easier for him to accept, much like any others here who weren't from there. One could regret or spend lifetimes regretting but that did nothing for living in the present, either.
It simply... hurt, having the fresh nature of the returned memory and knowing what would become of it all. Her child had grown up alone, as though he hadn't asked to be born and that happiness was ever fleeting. Her husband, twisted and harmful without his gentleness, worse without her ability to remember. But in this present, this present, she had Lup now and Taako and the bonds being made here, learning others without them being limited to roles, and... it's just so exhausting. Regis is only trying to help but here she's choked up, nearly unable to breathe for those few moments, breath catches but there are no words.
A reminder but her heart hurts to know that she yet has one, and while she looks back at him blinking, the tremble still in her hands, it's clear she can't quite hold back her tears, either. ]
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Come here. Don't hold the pain in; it is all right to let it out. Let me ground you in the present while you heal a small part of the past.
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Combined with some of the other memories she'd experienced recently and more clearly than she ever had before now that they were in fact her own, more than just an observer to a life slipped away... his tug is gentle, but patient, and she allows him to draw her closer.
What was he offering? Grounding? That--she could do with. Could healing come from that? She knew not, only... that it was all a lot to deal with, right now. Shutting down her emotions wouldn't do anything aside from make it worse when she was alone. She'd been there before too. Just a few words to push him away and deny herself this.
Still, for all this, words yet fail her, only a soft gasp as she relents to his kindness, folding toward him if he allows it. ]
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How much healing will she be able to do? He has no way to tell. In the end, perhaps just sorting those memories back to where they belong will be all she can accomplish, but it's still something and something he has no wish to rush. He will remain as long as she needs him to.]