♥ April (Lasai) Event Log

[hugtopiamods]

April (Lasai) Event Log
Lasai is a beautiful month. The weather is warmer, the sky is a breathtaking blue again, and with the flowers from Ainir growing nicely, the entire city of Havenwell just feels more alive with every breath. It's a time of renewal, of rebirth, of Ainea's greatest strength as her adherents open the temple gates to invite people and robots from all walks of life to enter and share together. What should be a joyous time, however, is suddenly interrupted as the earthquakes mount day by day through the start of Lasai. Those messages that people have been receiving since Nalom? It seems it's time for the gods to deliver on their promises.

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❥ PROMPT I: The Wild Wild West (East, South and North)

As Ainir gives way to Lasai, one morning the earthquakes, which had been growing more frequent again, suddenly mount in their intensity. The entire city is shaking and the native residents cower despite their faith in their gods' protection. The guards along the wall shout alarm and abandon their posts as the walls start to shift under the strain. When the last of them are safely away from the walls, the barrier and the wall itself quivers. The citizens cry out in alarm and fear until they realize that the walls aren't falling - they're moving. And they're moving further out. As everyone in Havenwell looks on, the walls and its surrounding barrier fluctuates and expands, sliding through the city streets as if on hidden tracks, avoiding buildings and ruins, pushing the toxic air and the storm further away. They finally come to rest and snap back into place, new walls rising from who knows where to fill in the gaps. The barrier strengthens and the earthquakes stop, and as the dust settles, a cheer rises from the citizens.

"Praise the gods! Praise the off-worlders!"

Among the din of their celebration, however, other cries start up among the newly incorporated ruins. Cries that sound like howls and screeches, and certainly do not sound human. Grab your weapons and steel yourselves, off-worlders, with the addition of this new space comes the need to clear it of anything potentially dangerous that got caught up in the expansion. Not all creatures you'll find are hostile, but some certainly are. Docile ones might just fetch a nice price from the Research Towers and the Conservatory if you can capture a mating pair.

OOC: These are the creatures you can encounter in the city as you go through to clear it. It's not an invasion level of infestation, as the majority of creatures will prefer to remain inside their known territory beyond the original barrier, but you will on occasion need to take up arms and fight. Next to their names are the frequency with which you can find them, ranging from common to extremely rare.

• Inky Black Spiders (common - hostile): These relatively small, black spider-like creatures have very basic melee attacks, using their fangs and their sharp legs to bite and claw at people. Those who were around in October when the wall broke will recognize them as the most common enemy back then. Their exoskeletons are hard and when they die, they smash into a black goo. They tend to travel in packs, using sheer numbers to overwhelm their prey.
  
• One-Eyed Lizard (uncommon - docile): An iridescent scaly purple and green lizard approximately 8 to 10cm in length from tip to tail. It has a single eye at the top of its head that can rotate to see 360 degrees around it. This creature's main defenses are its tough hide and a spine on the tip of its tail which it whips at predators to dissuade them from eating it. It's more likely to run than fight, however, and can usually be found sunbathing on exposed rock with its eye closed.
  
• "Bone Giraffe" (extremely rare - hostile): A nearly 20-foot tall, long-necked skeleton of a four-legged creature long dead with a single curved horn protruding from its skull and a sharp snout. It's usually found lying in a heap, as if it laid down and died that way. A black seven-petaled flower sometimes (but not always) grows from the skull and beneath the skeleton is an oily black film. Touching the oil slick activates the creature, which draws the oil up into the skeletal cage. Its main attacks are brute force, using its bony legs and neck to kick and slam against its prey, and its acid breath. It breathes a black fume that sizzles and burns anything it touches.
  
• Rive Talon (rare - hostile - medium): In the past these creatures may have been canines of some form, now they seem to have melded with the detritus of the fallen buildings and creatures of the landscape. Extra spikes, ridges, and protrusions extend from its body at odd angles. Many of them are metal or stone, rather than bone. And some of the bones clearly were not originally its own. (Suggested by Sierra!)
  
• Outskirts Hare (uncommon - docile): A shy creature, roughly the size and shape of an earth hare, covered in fuzzy-looking, curly pink hair and cat-like whiskers. Normally quite timid, this creature's poor eyesight causes it to flee when it feels threatened, and relies largely on a sense of touch to navigate its surroundings. Contact with this creature's fur is markedly pleasant, but its skin discharges an oil that causes mild skin irritation on contact when it's nervous. Active mostly at night time. (Suggested by Mel!)
  
• Ansaurini (rare - annoying): a bipedal feathered bird with sharp claws and teeth good for chomping; some possess flight capabilities, but the majority are prone to a lazy waddle. Mostly harmless and deceptively unassuming until you turn your back- and suddenly it's run off with something it stole off your person! They are excellent at escaping, though they can be traced back to their hoard, and if their collection is raided they will make a lot of noise in protest. Just watch your back- they will try again until you leave their territory. Truly, a horrible thing.
  

❥ PROMPT II: Welcome to the (Urban) Jungle

Once the creatures are mostly taken care of and the newly revealed area is deemed safe enough to venture into, the city council will put out a call for those willing and able to assist the natives with a clean-up effort. The city outside the walls is badly damaged, left to the ravages of the time and the ever-present storm, which means clearing dust, debris, and flotsam is a high priority before people can begin to repair the new districts and salvage material or live there. Thick brown vines cover large parts of the city, grime from the storm is caked onto windows, rocks and scattered rotted bones and twisted metal can be found in roads and crashed through buildings. The atmosphere in this part of the city seems to mirror the decrepit state of the land, too, feeling heavier and grayer and more depressing than it has any right to be. Going out with people and helping together, taking breaks to lean against one another tends to help clear away any negativity that this land seems to bring to your thoughts, however. Since it's dangerous to go alone, be sure to take a friend.

The biggest concern is the vines, so natives offer to lend machetes to the offworlders to help the hack them away. The vines look brown and dead, the leaves withered and curled up. When characters hack into them, the vines release a puff of yellowish dust. Inhale the dust or get it anywhere near your face and over time, you'll begin to get sleepy - very sleepy. It's hard to keep your eyes open, no matter your resistance to poisons or magic, and eventually you'll find yourself falling asleep wherever you are. And once you're asleep? The vines start moving, crawling toward you at a snail's pace. Hopefully you did bring a friend because you'll need their touch to wake up and stay awake long enough to get away from the vines before they pull you deep within their grasp.

❥ PROMPT III: Take a Load Off

Not everyone can fight or clean or even wants to do it, so while those who are more suited to being on the front lines are off doing their thing, those who remain behind must begin the effort of preparing everything that people will need to live in these new areas. At the temples and in the main square, the priests have set up large rest areas with blankets and pillows, and are busily putting together repair kits for mechanics and explorers to use as they go through the ruins. Those who want a place to rest that doesn't require going all the way back to their homes might find these waystations more convenient.

At each, characters can find hot soups with chunks of hearty replicated breads and both hot and cold drinks available for any who wish it. They're trying to replicate pain medications and bandages for people who have been injured while exploring or fighting off the monsters who were unlucky enough to be left inside, and will ask you to try it if you're injured. Taking this medication might have some unintended side effects, however, like a feeling of euphoria or delusions of grandeur or even something as banal as turning your hair a shocking shade of chartreuse - the effect, if you want one, is up to you! The rest areas also have robots "skilled" in giving massages that are looking to test their newly acquired skills and with four pairs of arms, they can work on two people at once! In fact, they're rather insistent about giving you a free massage if they hear even the slightest hint of fatigue in your voice and will usher people into their curtained off booths regardless of whether they know the other occupant or not. These robots are still learning though, so anyone curious enough to try may need to work with their partner to give these robots pointers. They're trying, but not having fragile little flesh bodies is a major obstacle in learning how to have a gentle touch.

❥ PROMPT IV: That Which Remains

With the opening of the city, there seem to be a lot of buildings that need cleaning. Some are so dilapidated that they're better off demolished than repossessed, and most are residential and commercial buildings reminiscent of the ones the offworlders are used to seeing everyday in the Havenwell they've all known up until now. However, among the ruins of these older sections, those intrepid enough to venture and explore may find a few unique gems awaiting them. Just remember: the first rule of urban exploration is to never go alone. You never know what might be lurking in those abandoned buildings or what obstacles might be in your way. Doorways blocked by rubble will need more than one person to remove them. Frightened (and frightening) animals might be lingering in the dark. And, most importantly, you don't want to fall through the floor and vanish into a basement. There seem to be quite a few weakened floors out there. In the following parts of the expanded city, characters can find these interesting ruins:

• Northwest: The Arena - In the northwest of the newly opened area, characters can find what looks to be a ruin of a large open air oval building. The building itself is almost 3 stories tall with walls overgrown with brown vines and dead foliage. There are doorways that have no doors, instead being high archways through which people can access in the interior. Stairs lead up into what looks like worn stone benches and down below is a rubble-strewn open area. Part of the walls have collapsed over time but it's very clear this place was used once as some sort of viewing area. It'll take a bit of work to clear this place until it's usable!
  
  There are archways with stairs that lead downward, but you'll need some help clearing away the rubble to get to what's below! If you're successful in getting beneath the arena, you'll find hallways with empty rooms that vary between large enough to possibly be some sort of training room to small enough to be just enough space for someone to put a slim single cot or bed and maybe a wardrobe to have a small private room. Some rooms have rusted metal that may or may not have been weapons at some point, while others have faded wall paintings, chipped and worn with age. It's hard to make out, but with enough reconstruction work, you may just learn who used to haunt these halls.
  
  
• Southeast: The Baths - In the southeast of the newly opened area, characters will find a domed building unlike the rest of the architecture around it. It's extremely large, for one, and squat, while the rest of Havenwell's buildings seem to be lean and tall. The walls are made of the same stone, but the dome above is broken glass. There are several metal sliding doors set in the walls, but many are fused shut with grime and years of disuse. One main door, larger than the others is sightly ajar, however, and with some help characters may be able to force it open.
  
  Inside, they find an expansive lobby with white floors that must have sparkled before all the grime, dirt, and broken glass took over. The dome overhead reflects the light, making the interior of the building as bright as outside. At the center of the lobby is a dry fountain with two broken statues - four armed humanoids holding urns. Their heads are missing and many of the arms are broken and lying in the dry basin. From the lobby there are alcoves in every direction and two hallways that lead further into the buiding in opposite directions. In each alcove are low stone seats and round basins sunk into the ground that are either dry with a black film around the inside, or full of a dark oily substance that's nearly coagulated.
  
  Go down the hallways and you'll find identical looking chambers. First, you enter an open area with broken sinks and mirrors, with stone cubbies on the walls. Then when you pry open and push past the metal sliding doors, you'll find yourself in a wide open semicircular area filled with baths of different sizes, shapes and depths. Some are free-standing stone tubs, others are large basins sunk into the ground, and still others are rectangular and just big enough for one or two people to lie down in. Each of these basins are like the ones in the lobby, either filled with that same coagulated black ooze or dry with a black film inside. Looks like it's time to get cleaning because each basin also seems like they might be able to be retrofitted to produce water perhaps.
  
  
• Southwest: The Factory - In the southwest, closest to the wall, the characters can find an imposing square building. It has small thin windows and boasts a plethora of chimneys and smokestacks on the roof, some of which are crumbling or broken with age and exposure. There are two square doors, both of which are large enough to drive a truck through and made of metal which needs to be pried open before accessing the inside. Once inside, the characters find a massive operation geared toward ore and mineral processing and metallurgical refinement. The machinery is old, but extremely well laid out, as it seems this plant was used to process huge volumes of minerals and ores before being lost to time. There are stations for every imaginable part of the refining process separated neatly so they can work efficiently, but all of the machines are broken or currently inoperable and will need significant work before they can start functioning again.
  
  Explore the refinery and you may still find one or two of the ores lying about. They contain an unknown metal that gleams a slick oily silver. At the back of the refinery is an industrial elevator which is currently inoperational. Peering down through the cracks, however, reveals that the shaft goes a long way down. The view of just how far is obstructed by a shimmering rainbow-colored barrier, not unlike the one that is just outside the walls.

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This event will run from April 15th to 30th, although due to the areas and effects not technically vanishing, feel free to continue playing with it for some time beyond. Click on each prompt's title to see the text. If you have any questions, feel free to direct them to the FAQ or to the Mod Question thread.

Comments

[scourgingstars]

...You're right. I ask too much of you--everyone and everything has.

[The same steady voice, that iron resolve softening as it turned to sympathy from one sacrifice to another. Ardyn didn't look away anymore, focused on Noctis calmly. Even though the whole situation shattered whatever heart he had, even though he wanted to say a hundred thousand things built on his own resentment of gods and Crystal that had thrown him aside with no reason or explanation.]

[Resentment was the deep grave carved into the earth by Ardyn Izunia; by the monster Adagium, chosen only to die. Ardyn Lucis Caelum would sooner cast aside the shovel before that dark pit grew any deeper.]

I have only the outlines to a picture of what the world is to become, at best. I want to be wrong in what I am thinking, in what others have suggested that I refused to consider for fear it might be the truth. But I already know everything that I struggled and suffered for was for nothing. Do not misunderstand--I am endlessly grateful I could save those that I did, and I would never claim what I did for those years was worthless.

But to become what I have--what I will, is to sacrifice with my own hands everything I have ever stood for or believed in. I can not understand why such a thing was allowed to happen; whether the failing laid with myself, or with something I have not knowledge enough to fully grasp. And I do not wish it all to have been for nothing, either. Not what you and yours have done, not myself, Aera, Somnus, or any of the kings and queens of Lucis between then and now.

I will not tell you to stop, Noctis. I do not have that right by any means. Though I may wish to, I can not implore you to cease the path you are on, for it is only the same one I tried to walk before you. This should have been finished two thousand years ago, and I do not understand why it is you who has to shoulder the burden of it instead of myself. I only know that I can not trust in the divine as I did then. Whether I should live or die has been meaningless for far too long, but I can not have faith that your sacrifice will be the last if such has been ordained by their word. My-

[The hesitation came through again, but only for a moment; it wasn't lack of will that caught his voice, but the strained tone of someone who could no longer even cry over such miserable fates.]

-...My brother and I could agree in this if little else. If anyone was to be so reckless as to consider what else could be done, then such would have to be considered carefully, and whatever path to be taken would have to be agreed upon by those involved, for the good of the world and its people.

My next question to you is not a plea for you to cast aside anything that has transpired. But instead I ask, with what I have just said in mind...will you allow me to consider such a thing? Will you...please, let me at least contemplate some way to save our world that you might see its dawn?

[Ardyn felt responsible for many, many reasons. Not the least of which being that he had or would be the one to cause it, but especially because this was his purpose. To save the world and its people from the deadly, oppressive night was the reason he had believed he even existed at all.]

[It should have been him, not because of any throne or kingdom...but because if it had to be someone, it would not be this child left to finish what the Founder King and his exiled brother had begun so many generations before.]

[carbungle]

[It's a fair request. More fair than he'd expected; probably more fair than he deserves. It isn't just his fate he's deciding for, here, but the world's and everyone living in it. It's why he could never trust his judgment on what to do, why he's relied so heavily on the wiser people who guided him, gods and kings and Oracles. He's a sad excuse for a king, he sure as hell isn't a worthy deciding force for the entire world. He can barely decide what's for dinner.

There's something that is equal parts worrisome and comforting about the calm cadence of Ardyn's voice, and he's still deciding what to make of it, whether or not he should be daunted by or afraid of it. The longer Ardyn speaks, the more he leans away from both. He gets it. At the very least, of course, he would get it. Ardyn's been stabbed and screwed around by fate as much as him, with thousands of years worth of waiting in limbo. Two years (plus the ambiguous continuity of time uncounted) against two thousand... it makes his impending sleep seem so pathetic in comparison. He's not immortal, though, and the world can't wait that long. However long it takes, he'll march to his death when he gets out.

They have... some time, though. Here, and there. It's not hopeless, but even so-]

...I'll... tell you what I told Cor, and Besithia too. If there's a way to fix the world that's better, that's guaranteed to have at least as good a chance as what I've been promised by them, fine. I'm not gonna stop anyone from trying. It's not- [Another falter, another grimace, another attempt.] It's not like... I want to die. I just don't think my life's worth more than the rest of the world.

[And not Ardyn's, either. No one person is worth that cost.]

I believe that... they believe it'll work. They marked me for it, I could hear it in their voices. Even Bahamut... they're doing what they have to, to protect the world. [His fingers itch at his brace again, the marks still too new, tingling like pins and needles now that he's separated from them and the Crystal again, worlds apart.] The difference is that we don't matter- we're just means to an end. They're not strong enough to do it themselves, so they built up a family to gather that power over thousands of years. They loaned it to us and now they're collecting. Who cares if we suffer, or die... so long as the end result is what he wants.

[It's not a sentimental answer. There's nothing sentimental about it; he'd received his answers from a cold and heartless deity, ancient and otherworldly. His fate had been laid out on the table like a contract he'd signed under duress, decided by gods centuries before he even existed. Shiva had been... softer... but still cold as ice and untouchable, no sweet comfort meant for him. Only Luna's words, and her ghost, had given him any solace. Save our star, Shiva had urged him. A power greater than the Six, Bahamut stated.

And he can feel it, the difference between then and now. The soul of their star, flowing into him through the ring. It's only a fragment, but it's there, and the way it feels frightens him. The last step before the final, before the throne, before... whatever happens, happens. This train's moving forward, like it or not, and for him, there's no getting off. But it doesn't mean he has to drag everyone else along with him, force them to accept it regardless of their own feelings.

He doesn't want to just leave it at that, though, in case an argument is on the fringe of this conversation; he's tired, he doesn't want to fight. After taking a deep breath, he adds, in a somewhat defensive tone,]

I'm not giving up. Don't tell me I am, I won't hear it. [Not again.]

[scourgingstars]

I would never claim that you were.

[There was no argument; the acceptance was what Ardyn had requested and was granted in turn. Maybe the Astrals did think it would work, and maybe the two of them would be the last sacrifices in a long line of them. Ardyn didn't trust that anymore, and he didn't trust Bahamut.]

I don't know that I'll ever understand how or why things went as wrong as they did. That sacrifice should never have been yours to make, and I'm sorry we failed so badly that you should bear such pain yourself. I can only apologize, for what it's worth. All of this...Somnus and I should have been able to rid the world of all of this long before you, your father, or so many others were even born into a world demanding your lives from start to ending. If there is truly any possible way I can rectify such mistakes or failures, and spare any further pain to be carried by my family and friends...then I can not give up on the idea yet.

[But he trusted Noctis. Ardyn knew like few if any others did that one life was not a price to outweigh the world; it was one he'd been ready to pay himself, and yet would if the situation demanded it with no other option.]

[That didn't mean there was no other option, and it felt wrong to move forward with Noctis' death as a certainty without being as sure as they could. It would be one thing for the two of them to die, and quite another to die without searching for any other solution to save the world so long as there was time to do so.]

If there truly should be nothing else, then--I wish I could say I would be there with you at the end. Yet I know that person won't be me any longer. 'I' won't exist anymore, but even so...I want you to know that should that day come, you'll be doing me a favor as much as anyone else.

[Carefully--still well aware of who and what he was (or would become) to Noctis, Ardyn held out a hand.]

Would you come here...please? Only if you're comfortable with it, of course, I just-...

[your uncle wants to hug you, you poor fucking kid]

[carbungle]

[He wants to say not to apologize again, that it's not necessary, though he holds his tongue as that tends to mean very little with Ardyn anyway. He doesn't think that it's especially fair that the brothers were meant to bear the burden of this either, and the expectation that they'd take the blame is equally misplaced. The truth of the matter is, someone had to. Either the Astrals lied, or were misinterpreted, or thought they had the right idea and didn't. In the end the result is the same no matter which it was, and their fate's led them to this. A monster of the dark made to face a hero bearing the light of the world- it's like a fairy tale, something his dad would share at bedtime. He used to love those stories. He'd dreamed of being that hero one day, of saving people, great warriors at his side, with Luna supporting him as she said she would.

Reality is so much colder than dreams. Leaving Insomnia taught him that, time and time again. Why should this be any different?

He has to close his eyes there at the end as Ardyn continues, hiding away from the the vision such words bring to mind- of dying, of being alone when it happens. He doesn't know what that end will be, and he's afraid to ask if anyone knows. There's no way to prepare for that, is there? How would one brace for death? He's still figuring that part out. It's probable that the man before him, who "died" and came back and is even now talking about his possible future demise, is the only one who'd understand that, too. The call to approach feels as much like an offer as a request, hand open, welcoming. Please?

It takes some time, but eventually he reacts to the request; his approach is hesitant, every step a struggle, still helplessly afraid of far more than can be banished by a single month's quiet, but even so his momentum is forward as Noctis slides off the chair and closes the distance between them. He leans in to drop his head on the man's broad shoulder, slumping against him. He can't return it yet, but Ardyn is permitted to draw him in for a hug without resistance. He doesn't know if this will help, if this will feel better. But he's pretty sure he can't feel worse, and he's so very tired of the fear he's lived with every day for what feels like ages now.]

[scourgingstars]

[The arms placed high on Noctis' shoulders were gentle and light, seeking to give reassurance without keeping him in place. It would be easy for him to pull back at any instant he chose, though as long as he didn't it was clear Ardyn didn't plan on doing so first.]

...I know that you're afraid. I was, as well--I still am. I wish I could promise you that things will be better than this for either of us. But...all I can give you is that I want to try, before we resign ourselves fully to anything else.

Though I can say that I will be here, as much as I am capable whenever you should ask it of me. You are my family, and I love you dearly. So please don't bear such fears and uncertainties alone so long as there are those willing to share them with you.

[carbungle]

[A silence follows those words, broken only by Noctis' shaken breath. He's being so kind right now, so gentle, like Noct is made of glass. He feels a little bit that way, leaning on the other man, trembling against him. It's not him. They're family. Here, they have a family. He can't imagine that man ever sharing such a gentle sentiment. Izunia did everything he could to make Noctis hate him, so their confrontation would be in some way satisfying. Perhaps he wants to end the line of the Lucii personally. Perhaps he just wants to finally die.

...He... he doesn't want to die, though.

He does want it to be over. He wants their family to stop suffering, he wants the pain to end. He wants Lucis to exist in peace, real peace, not the false platitudes of the Wall that protected less and less of their continent until it was only Insomnia left. He wants to see his home shining again, lively and busy as it was before it was broken down and conquered. He wants to go camping with his friends, bitch about the tent and the bugs, wants to fish until a whole lake is empty. He doesn't want to be king, but he does want to see the country that his family built rise up again and not be lost to history like Solheim was, wants to be a part of that process somehow. He wants so many things. Twenty years isn't enough. Or twenty-one, or thirty, or fifty, or two thousand, even. A life committed only to duty is hardly a life lived.

He'd had a dream back in Altissia, before the rite, before he was finally going to be reunited with Luna and take her away from the empire, keep her safe at his side. He'd dreamed of what might have happened if it hadn't been a lie, if the treaty had been real. They'd have married properly in Insomnia, he'd see her in that dress with her hair all done up, walking with the kind of regal elegance he could never dare to emulate. He'd fumble through some ancient vows and she'd smile and humour him, take his arm, let him slip on her wedding ring. They'd figure out what the hell being married meant on the fly, and it would be okay, somehow, as long as they were together. The world would be lost to Niflheim, but it would be peaceful, finally. They'd learn to live in that world.

Izunia could even come to the wedding, as chancellor. Given them some petty gift, danced with the bride with no daggers involved, only his bizarre version of charm and wit. Noctis would go to the Crystal eventually. The darkness would be purged. The gods' will was an inevitability, the prophecy would come for them, but... for a little while, they'd be happy, and then they'd all be free.

"You'll be doing me a favor as much as anyone else."

It was a nice dream, and thinking about it now and all the things that had happened between then and the present, his instincts kick in and he throws his arms up around Ardyn, burying his face to the man's shoulder, and stops fighting those stupid coward's tears any longer. They're family. Let him be weak for a while.]

I'm sorry... I didn't want this, I'm sorry...

[I don't want to kill you. I don't want to die.]

[scourgingstars]

I know, Noctis. [His arms turned more secure and less the too-careful touch of glass when Noctis started clinging to him; still not restricting, but trying his hardest to be some kind of anchor as best Ardyn could.] I know. It isn't your fault. It was never your fault. You didn't deserve any of this, and neither of us wanted any of it. You've nothing at all to apologize for, certainly not to me.

[It didn't matter to Ardyn if saving the world meant that he would die. That was something he had been prepared for two thousand years ago, and now it practically sounded like two birds with one stone, so to speak. He would have to die somehow, sooner or later. Why not in service to what he had always wished to do?]

I haven't the heart to give you false hope, or the right to force you upon a path risking more than we are willing to wager. There may not be any other route for either of us, and what the Draconian demands may well come to pass no matter what anyone desires. It's fine to be afraid of that; I would dare call it sensible.

...But I don't want you to be what I was, destroying yourself bit by bit every day and hiding such immeasurable fear from everyone that cares for you. I didn't want such a fate for Somnus then, and I would not wish it on anyone else now. Least of all you.

[carbungle]

[An anchor is exactly what he becomes. The longer Noctis holds on, the easier he finds it, and his voice is struggling and muffled as he responds.]

I don't know what else to do. I've been following their lead this whole time, and when I go back I'll be inside the Crystal, no way to get out. I don't have control anymore.

[Did he ever, really? Did any of them? If they find another path, what is it that he can even do to change things? In his time it's probably too late for him, too late for that version of Ardyn. But changing things too far into the past the way Besithia wants could make things worse and change their path. It's hard not to feel trapped by everything.

Hope isn't what he's asking for, false or not. He has no misconceptions about the limits placed on their lives, here and back home. He doesn't want to lose himself to despair or hide entirely, as Ardyn says, but neither does he want to bring everyone around him down with his existential crisis. He's been trying to hide it this whole time, and gods is it ever difficult, every day. It hurts, but he doesn't know how to stop.

"I don't want you to be what I was."

He pauses, hesitant, but after a moment adds quietly,]

You get it, though. You get me.

[scourgingstars]

I am not sure what to do, either. Truthfully, if anything's to change with enough time to see to it the world survives as well, I think such a thing is likely to end up falling to the one furthest back in whatever form of linear time we have.

[Ardyn himself, in other words. Not yet driven irreparably mad, not yet an agent of Niflheim or his own vengeance. Regis, barely taken the throne if he had at all and Cor only a young Crownsguard. Noctis and the others, not even born yet. If any of this was possible, he wondered if it didn't all hinge on whether or not he became that which ended the world in the first place.]

But I do not know that with any certainty. And it's careless to begin throwing out ideas and possibilities without careful consideration; though it does pain me to reiterate, Somnus was right about that.

[Setting the matter aside for the moment, Ardyn sighed in a very quiet laugh with little humor to it.]

Of course I understand. You don't want to die, but know the measure of one life against the world itself. Afraid of what's to come, but knowing this is what will save everything you love. And you've no way to express the hesitation, because to do so would feel selfish with all at stake and hinging on your actions.

...It wasn't fair when I did it, I think. It certainly isn't now.

[carbungle]

...Yeah. That's... yeah.

[That selfishness is exactly what he fears, though he doubts anyone would call him out on it. And the timeline for change is about what he'd expected, what he'd suggested to Verstael months ago, and considered with Cor months even before that. Ardyn's time is the best suited for alterations that will ripple in a positive way, but they also don't know how far those ripples might go. Without his influence and corruption in Niflheim, Ifrit wouldn't be a daemon, the army wouldn't have such powerful magitek, they might not have conquered the world so easily. Lucis, a peaceful Lucis... he could still have been born there. Maybe. If the stars aligned.

Or Bahamut would, more likely, ensure that a Chosen is born, somehow. Thirty some-odd years with a shifted situation would not undo thousands more of careful planning.]

It isn't fair. But I've been selfish plenty in my life already, so... I want to do what's best for Eos. That's my duty. If it's this, I have to accept that. If there's something better, I'll accept that, too.

[If it means not existing at all, or if it means living a different life, or if it means still dying but leaving the world at peace instead of in darkness. All of it- he'll do it. He'll learn how to accept it. He won't hold his breath for a happy ending, but there's no harm in looking, either.]

[scourgingstars]

Yes--what's best for the star and her people is what's most important. More than either of us, more than crown or throne or all else. I can at least promise to hold to that, no matter how things unfold.

[They were in agreement on that, even if the price currently on it was uncomfortably high.]

But...do me one favor. If you can, remember that you're important yourself, and that people care for you. That we'll allow it if you should...be afraid, or want to confide in us, or even be just a little selfish from time to time.

Please, would you...try not to make my own mistakes?

[carbungle]

[Noctis makes a faint sound of almost-laughter again, shaking his head on Ardyn's shoulder.]

Don't think I'm even capable of going it alone like that. Last time it... didn't go so well.

[He never wants to relive that. Sure, he'd been forced into it all through Zegnautus, but it was still a long stretch of time where he'd suffered through this pain alone. It was awful, the worst. It'd almost killed him, not just by daemons by despair, too. He's been given a choice here, to rely on his friends and his family, instead of concealing it all. Why would he choose that?

...or... continue to choose that. Because he already does, sometimes.]

If... if I start to... can I come here?

[The question is tentative, stumbling; it's not the answer he worries about, that Ardyn might refuse, but the situation that might call for it. He doesn't want to end up like that, secluding himself and hiding his troubles. But there is some guilt in sharing these burdens, and it weighs heavily against his need to show what he's feeling without restraint. Better to ask, and to know. It... might make it easier.]

[scourgingstars]

Of course you can.

[No hesitation. The same gentle tone answered Noctis, a scarred hand running light over Noctis' hair in reassurance, the consolation of an elder brother that had never completely lost that protective nature even in the wake of betrayal and eternity.]

[That offer was something Ardyn had never had--no, something he had foolishly never allowed himself to have. He could have confided in Aera, could have gone back home and reconciled with Somnus before things went too far. But...he didn't. He'd been afraid, just as he said. Afraid of failure. Afraid of being seen as a monster. Afraid of letting the weight of all the world crash down around him because his shoulders could no longer bear it.]

Any time at all; no matter what's going on, how late it might be, or anything else. I would be flattered to know you were willing to trust me enough for that, and truly happy to give whatever aid I can be to you.

[carbungle]

[It's heavy, this burden. The world is far, far too heavy for one person. Maybe that's the reason it took two thousand years- simply because no single soul had enough of anything to bear it alone. Not enough power, or will, or heart. Not even a god could do that, not even the Draconian himself. He carries those souls with him now; 113 kings, five Astrals, even the soul of the planet itself. It won't just be him, no matter what happens, no matter which path they take. Even if he has to die in the end, they'll all save the world together. He'll... try and take some comfort in that. It's better than going alone.

Pyra had told him months ago, whimsical but genuine, that hugging the ring was like hugging his whole family. It had been silly, of course, but not wholly untrue. His family was there. And his family is here, too. And they love him, as he loves them.

With an awkward sniff he draws back, not enough to break contact but enough to cast a hand across his eyes to dry them as best he can. He tries to smile, even just a little. He can... come here. If he's about to break, he doesn't have to let it happen. Just knowing that is enough to soothe a few of those wounds he's been nursing for weeks.]

You know... I just realized something.

[scourgingstars]

Hm? [Gods knew Ardyn was more than emotionally wrung out to cry himself, but...well, he couldn't. Not while knowing what that would look like, and not when Noctis needed him to keep somewhat steady for the moment.]

[So the look that met Noctis' was as calm as the voice to match it, the familiar small and hesitant smile back on Ardyn's face.]

And what's that?

[carbungle]

I got dragged into the Crystal to absorb it. Was already starting to, when I woke up. It's here.

[He pats his chest. A very strange feeling, to say the least, even through the ring: a bit like being marked by the gods but on a deeper level, carved directly into him, a connection similar to the retainer bond as one soul tethered to another. He's carrying around a piece of their planet now, split from the rest- the source of all of their powers.

He doesn't know if he's supposed to be telling Ardyn this, but... to hell with it. Bahamut never said he couldn't, and what's the point of being asked to share his burdens if he doesn't do just that? Anyway, that isn't the point of him explaining.]

It doesn't hurt you to touch me, right?

[He leaves the implication unspoken. A bit of a stretch perhaps, but an olive branch offered nonetheless; they could use a bit of levity here, after the conversation they just shared.]

[scourgingstars]

Wh...huh?

[It used to be that Ardyn was nigh unreadable--the healer sage of Lucis was a steady and stoic presence, with little variation in that except in the small smiles and playful jabs exchanged between himself and Aera. When he'd been taken out of Angelgard, he wasn't even sure if he felt enough to express or cared to try.]

[Now, after some months on the other side of perhaps the longest traumatic event in recorded history, it was a bit different. His heart wasn't so much on his sleeve as it was a glowing neon sign hanging over his head, unsure or unable to quite conceal emotions he didn't expect to feel--which was most of them.]

[So that measured and controlled look faltered into blatant confusion, Ardyn caught off guard enough that he hadn't quite put one and one together just yet.]

N...no? It doesn't whatsoever.

[carbungle]

[Goddammit, really. Like- it's useful to know, as a just-in-case measure, and there's been no evidence to the contrary, but...]

Okay, good.

[Noctis lifts his brows pointedly, his head tilting. At least the surprise makes it clear that Ardyn isn't just saying that to make him feel better.]

...So?

[He doesn't actually have to explain it, does he...]

[scourgingstars]

...O-oh.

[It clicked into place after a second more, confusion gradually shifting into something closer to realization. The Crystal had violently rejected him that day at barely a touch, so if it--or at least its power--was harbored within Noctis now...for whatever reason it didn't hurt, and he wouldn't have even known had nothing been said.]

So it doesn't, then. That's...well, I don't know if it could mean anything, but it's certainly worth note.

[carbungle]

We're stuck here for a while, and Bahamut can't set us straight. It can mean whatever we want it to.

[Screw the truth of the gods, no matter what it might be in this instance. If he's forced - and he was, it dragged him into itself unwillingly and ignored all his cries for aid - to become the bearer of the Crystal's light, he gets to be the one to decide what is or isn't worthy to be touched by it.]

I accept you, so... that's that.

[For whatever that's worth to him... well, that's not up to Noctis, what with Ardyn rejecting the idea of vying for acceptance from the gods or the Crystal. But their precious Chosen deems him worthy, and that's his right.]

[scourgingstars]

[And that pretty much struck Ardyn speechless. He'd done--would do, had done--horrendous things to the world at large and Noctis specifically. Yes, he understood that monster wasn't him just yet, but the distinction wasn't always an easy one to make for Ardyn, much less Noctis. Having one's unworthiness almost literally burned into them tended to linger, and even now he thought almost alarmingly little of himself.]

[But despite all that, despite everything he would become and everything he would do, despite how he'd failed utterly and been named a monster for it, despite being worthless in his own eyes...he was still accepted. By distant descendants, by friends he'd otherwise never have known, perhaps even by his brother. By Noctis, destined to kill him and with all the reason in the world to reject him just as violently as the Crystal in his blood.]

[Forget the gods and the Crystal; it wasn't their acceptance he wanted. Not their acknowledgement or anything else. It was worthless next to all of that--neither meant anything at all to Ardyn compared to his family.]

[Completely at a loss, Ardyn chose instead to hug Noctis a little more tightly again and hide whichever of the half-dozen different emotions he felt that was showing on his face.]

[carbungle]

[Apparently that was the right thing to say. At least, he hopes it is. It sure feels like it is, with the way Ardyn is holding on to him. There's no denying it's a little frightful, because many things are these days - still jumping at shadows in the worst of times - but it's... less than he'd expect. It only takes a moment or so for him to lift his arms again to return it.

They're all carrying scars, here. Some are deep, and some are old, and some reopen too easily. But wounds are wounds, even so. And many of them are too similar to deny. They're too similar, Chosen of the gods and destined to die together. Maybe that's why Izunia hates him, too.

It's not him.]

I know, I know... I'm amazing. Better to get it all out now.

[scourgingstars]

You're wonderful beyond compare, my dear nephew.

[Which sounded a fair bit more genuine than Noctis' general goofing about, mostly because it was. Noctis didn't have to say that--heavens knew Ardyn didn't always think himself to even be worth accepting at all. But he'd said it all the same, and maybe once in a while Ardyn could even let himself believe he was worth that.]

[He pulled back just slightly again, smile shaken and unsure but no less genuine for it.]

However can we possibly stand it?

[carbungle]

Half the time I can't stand it, so there's less hope for you all.

[The sincerity of Ardyn's response has his cheeks a bit red, not really used to that. Still, at least he seems happy about it. Ish. It's a bittersweet kind of happy, unsteady and waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It's gone in a moment, though, as he purses his lips and thinks of what comes next.]

...Do you know... who else knows about all this?

[Ardyn didn't bring it up until now; that's understandable, considering the no-contact situation, but it makes him wonder if there are others who are aware and just waiting for him to speak up.]

[scourgingstars]

...I don't, no.

[That did kind of complicate things, especially when they were already complicated enough.]

It was confided to me under somewhat distressing circumstance, and I've said not a word of it to anyone but you.