hugtopia_logs | those crystal blues

Mm...

[He nods before he thinks about it, because he can, he knows that much. He'd felt it in waves before, but now that he's able to focus on it, it's all the stronger. Like his usual well of energy is a little beefier than before, or at least the potential might be there, since he's more or less drained from everything that just happened. Or that it would be easier, were she to share her power with him, that connection weaving seamlessly around his own magic, twisting ribbons and support structures to strengthen what already exists. It feels almost as if there's more clarity to the world around him, like he's seeing it differently- though maybe that's just because now he's seeing it through his own eyes, rather than ones clouded by the visions, thoughts, and memories of those who came before seeping into the corners. Hard to say.

He can definitely feel something, though.]

It's sort of like... when I gave you my power, isn't it? The way it felt different, then... it's that, again. But it's yours.

[Not less, though... that's good. He's not sure what he'd expected when she brought it up the first time, but it was some time ago and they hadn't really discussed it since, nor had he pried too hard into the details. At least... he doesn't recall doing so. Maybe he should have, but they'd both been riding pretty high on emotions back then. And here they are again, feeling similarly because he'd almost kicked it a second time.

He... should probably not let this happen again, if he can help it.]

Mm.

[ Her hand trails up his chest, resting upon his that's over his crystal. Knowing him, he'll probably cover it in some way. No one would be the wiser, if he wanted to hide it. But is that really the way to go, moving forward? Not that it might inconvenience him too much, granted that he never dresses himself like Gladio without a shirt or wears low-cut necklines, but... ]

And just in case you didn't know, I like how we're connected in this way, too. [ Her eyes are bittersweet, if only because she wishes he didn't have to suffer, but there is no regret to be found upon her expression. ] I'm not ashamed of it. If someone sees that crystal on you, that's fine with me.

[ She didn't have to be 'brave' to decide to save his life. The decision came instantly.

Similarly, she no longer has to find inspiration to be brave to continue to be connected to him to keep his life ensured, a failsafe in place. If this somehow gives away to others that she's more than what she is (if they didn't figure it out already), then so be it. As it turns out, love is the greatest motivator for change. ]

Shame isn't what I worry about.

[His gaze shifts back to her, first her face, then her own crystal. It isn't that he'd expected her to regret doing something that saved him, but her words are a little surprising to him nonetheless.]

I know you don't usually hide yours, but... me having one, too. Won't that make people question you?

[What she is, who she is... she's been so careful, and he's kept her secrets as best he could all of this time. Wearing one of her crystals on his arm is one thing- that's just jewelry, easily explained. A crystal embedded into his own chest, though? That seems like something that would merit more justification than an aesthetic choice. He hates the idea of her having to feel uneasy or unsafe just for his sake, or that the truth might come out accidentally or through more prying than they can fend off.]

Maybe, but... [ She exhales, wanting nothing but to shake her head and smile at him. Really, he's concerned about her right now, in the midst of his recovery? It's such a him thing to do.

Pyra's hand lifts from his head, curling all fingers into her palm save for her index finger, which she taps upon his nose lightly. ] Don't you worry about that. If people question it, people question it. I--... I think I'm ready for any that come my way, and you can tell them that I've lent you a part of my crystal, to help you, if you want.

[ Perhaps this had been the final push needed for her to realize that there are so many more important things to worry about than be concerned about all of her secrets. She's not saying that she'd simply spill all of them, just that helping him and the means how isn't something she should fear hiding. That fear didn't prevent her from making the decision save him. That fear won't stop her from continuing to have her crystal spliced. ] I'll face those questions without regrets. Without fear.

[He takes those words in, stunned into silence for a bit, recognizing the weight of them, what it means- and what it means for them, that she's willing to risk this for him, go to such lengths to keep on protecting him. He's known for a long time that she'd do a lot for him, they've both said as much plenty of times before, and she's fought alongside him, aided him when he needed with her power and all her support. She's coaxed him away from dozens of metaphorical ledges in all their time together. This is different, though. Like a proclamation to the world that his life matters more than her fear of what might happen if she's exposed. Considering that he's seen what could happen, should her power be abused... he's no fool, he knows the worth of what she's offering him. Not just that, but he's proud of her, too. He's respected her wishes and kept those secrets, but if this somehow is able to help her come out of her shell a little, share more of herself with the friends she's made here... she'll be better for it, he thinks. To have not just him as a confidant but more people who've grown to care for her as he has. She deserves that.

With that promise as inspiration, at last he's able to find enough strength to slide his hand up and take hers, twining their fingers, and muster a smile. He still feels like garbage, and it's taking more energy than he cares to admit, but he can't not smile at such a gift.]

They're... gonna love you, all the same. [Hard to imagine anyone not loving her, no matter what she is or the danger she might represent.] And if anyone comes at you for it, they'll have to go through me. I'll protect you, too.

[ It's not strange how it's easy to smile when she sees his own, because his provides greater relief than when he had initially woken up.

For all of her worry and fear of being secretive-- and it's not as if she's going to go around declaring what she is outright-- it is so easy to make this choice, to continue to make this choice daily, to keep her crystal spliced, a part on him, the rest on her. ]

For one who looks so beat up, that took no time at all for you to worry about me. Stop that. [ Spoken affectionately, of course, and it's followed by a soft, breathy chuckle, a grateful look shining in her eyes. How does she know that he's still him? After the throes of suffering, after a near death experience:

"I'll protect you, too."

Honestly, this man...

Oh. She knows what might cheer him up a little more, on that same note, and not wanting to come right back to the topic of memories and something more unpleasant, she adds: ]

You'll be able to use my sword.

[Her gentle reprimand earns a mild pout from him, no more bothered by it than she was. That's all he'll say on the matter, though. She doesn't need to hear from him that he'll support her; she knows he will, just like he knows she'd do the same (and is, currently). He'll prove it with his actions if the opportunity arises, though he hopes - and doubts - it'll happen. Havenwell's full of good people. He'd like it to stay that way.

Her comment on the sword makes him blink, looking up at her in surprise.]

Your sword? What, Durandal? [He could already use that one if he wanted...]

No, no. [ She smiles, shaking her head. ] My actual sword.

[ Briefly, she wonders if it would be too much to call it into her hand.

And then lifting her hand that had been in his, she calls it to her anyway. Materializing out of the same sort of energy that forms her body, it manifests in a blaze that does not hurt him, and activates its flaming edges. Since she’s able to control it kinetically, she allows it to hover up from her grasp, allowing to be displayed before them both. The light of its embers flicker upon them, as if they were seated before a hearth.

For a moment, there’s a nostalgic look in her eyes. This is the first time she’s called her sword out since she’s awakened. She’s always know what it’d look like, and it’ll probably be an even greater sight in reality. Circumstances aside, she’s immensely glad she able to share this with him. ]

The flames won’t hurt you, either.

[He follows her movements, surprised; he can't recall hearing about this before, or seeing anything like it. Considering her reluctance in involving herself in any sort of fighting back in the day, the growth really shows. Or at least shift, as he can't say for sure whether or not she benefits from getting into fights. Looking at her expression, though... the sword is very impressive, yes, and quite beautiful. But more importantly, it's hers.]

Can't you use it?

[She's making it float! That's like the Armiger. Between that and her expression, it feels more significant than just "here, have a new sword".]

Yes. [ And. She supposes she might, if necessary, but she’s not thinking of using it herself. It’s been so peaceful, lately, and he’s the one who trains more often. ]

…But perhaps we might share it together. [ She gives him a playfully wry look. ] Do you really know when you might not need a flaming sword?

[He's satisfied by that, showing it clearly with the return of his smile. Sharing it sounds nice, like their other powers, like the crystal itself.]

I'm... not gonna say I don't want a flaming sword.

[Because he would very much like a flaming sword, yes.]

It’s ours, then. [ She leans over him, dipping her head to give him another kiss upon his forehead.

…Will she have to practice with him, maybe? Or is there some memory he’s received that involved a magically firey sword and how to wield it? She’s not sure to jump back into the latter topic just yet.

Pyra opens her eyes, looking at him lovingly. ]

Just remember: you can’t be burned by it. But it’ll feel hot to anyone around you.

[He blinks at that, then nods slowly, taking that to heart. He feels a little more confident with the situation now, bit by bit; her comfort level and the perks she's bringing up are definitely helping, but overall his mind is beginning to settle, the more time passes between the breakdown and his waking up with her.]

That makes sense... it'd be like elemancy, then. Gotta be careful where it goes. [A beat, and then-] It really won't burn me? Seriously?

Here.

[ She moves the sword closer, tipping it parallel to the ground beside them, so that if he wishes, he might lift his hand to wave at the flames. If he does, he’ll feel its heat, the potential that it could— or should— be dangerous to him, but it won’t burn him. ]

It’s… not real fire, actually. Water doesn’t effect it. It’s Mythra, and the crystal’s power, dimmed down enough though the seal that it behaves like fire.

[ Another construct, in a sense, to mimic what fire is like, to make it seem like nothing more than normal flames. ]

That doesn’t mean it can’t ignite actual fires when coming into contact with fuel, though.

Ah...

[He trusts her wholeheartedly, showing no hesitation as he reaches out and brushes his fingers through the fire burning around the edge of the sword. True to her word, it's warm but not dangerous, and he feels no pain from the contact. He can't help letting his hand linger there, fascinated and loving the way the licks of fire weave harmlessly between his fingers. It isn't even heating up the ring.]

It's pretty... [The feeling is similar yet different from his own elemental energy; maybe that's what makes it so delightful, getting to touch it like this without having to pour so much focus into controlling it.] Is this why you kept it hidden?

I think many things about it would have brought too much attention. [ Whether that the flames could not hurt its wielder, that it could simply be called into hand from nothing on her part, that the crystal upon it is in the same shape of her own, or that the flames were of a mysterious quality.

In retrospect, a sword or abilities like that do not seem too outlandish in a realm that summons people from different worlds, but she had wished for as little attention as possible. She hadn't even called any of her fire forth until it was in his presence, and only after a year had passed. ...Not that there had been many uses for flames or her sword. ]

...But. [ She sighs. She can forgive her past self for being so fearful-- but not so foolish as for it to take two of his near-death experiences for her to offer him this protection in the form of her crystal. This should have been done months ago.

Besides these thoughts, she smiles. She's come this far. ] I don't think it needs to be hidden anymore. [ It's pretty, he says, and it's as if he's complimenting her. Maybe if he thinks it's pretty, not something to be feared, then...
Others might, too. She's ready to take that chance. ] I want you to be able to use it, even if you might not need it... Just like how I have your magic, too.

Mm... I don't think so, either. But I don't blame you for keeping it to yourself.

[She's had to live with this fear, alone, for years, even if she was asleep for most of it as far as he knows. For someone like him, who's always been free to use his magic as he wishes, who'd been expected to carry it proudly (even if his control or abilities were lacking), it's hard to fathom having to hide. There'd been moments during his journey where he'd had to conceal his identity, but not in combat, not to the detriment of himself or those around him. It had given him away to many over time, the sole possessor of magic in a world devoid of it, besides the Six and the bloodline of the Oracle. People could have gone after him, if they wanted to. The Imperials had, when his presence was noticed by those flying overhead. But he'd been free with it, able to save and be saved by it when the need was there. She didn't have that.

He wants her to have that freedom now, if possible, and if that's what comes out of all of this, then in at least one aspect it'll have been worth all the trouble.]

You know... Lucian weapons are built to channel the elements. They've got crystals on them that absorb and store 'em, you can channel that power into how you fight. Your sword... I bet it'll feel like home.

[Even if it's not real fire, even if it's not his magic. It's hers, and she's family. Anything from her is bound to feel like home, anyway.]

[ That he would call an aspect of herself home causes her expression to open, surprised at the parallel he draws. Or more accurately, astonished that she hadn't thought of something similar herself, before. ] Home...

[ He and his magic is home to her, too, because he's become home. Perhaps he doesn't mean it in this exact same way, but the epiphany is comforting. ]

...Is... [ She finds her voice again, continuing after a few tolls of the bell sound within Elysium. ] something you can use my power for, too. [ She rests her hand upon his crystal, but allows the sword to hover near him for as long as he'd like to run his fingers through its flames. ] Whenever you are lost [ She emphasizes the word. Not just lost, location-wise, but lost within his memories, his dreams, his heart. ] ...you can use it, to find your way back.

Back to here, back to the present.

[His head tilts at that, confused and curious (hopeful, more like), because he doesn't know exactly what she's saying, but the potential is enough of a tease that he wants it. He's been feeling lost a lot lately, and while it helps to have her around to guide him back, they aren't always together, and he doesn't want them to end up too codependent. Especially not just for his sake, to the detriment of both of their independence.]

What... do you mean?

When things feel overwhelming... [ She tries again, doing her best to explain. Slow at first, then becoming more reassured as she speaks. This is the second time he's had a near-death experience, and she's lucky to have been there to help both times. That isn't to say she'll always be there for him, or always be there to help him, either.

But she's talking more than physical danger. She knows he has his own share of hardships and traumas, haunts that plague him. He's getting more help than he has ever has had before, but it's a journey. ] When everything feels worse than it is, or when one feels alone, or it's too dark to see anyone or anything else...

[ She allows her sword to vanish, and upon her own chest, she presses her palm to her crystal. ] The light you give me-- your light is-- it's home.

[ Safe. Comfortable. Loved. That is home, always accepting, always welcoming one back to it, no matter how battered or weary the resident may return, no matter how long they've stayed lost. A home is a safe place to rest, to grieve if need be, but also to rest, to recover. Her hand lowers to his chest, draws the outline of the crystal there. Then, she cups over his hand, pressing his palm to it. ]

I hope... you can find that home here, too, with the light I give you. A little reminder that you're not alone, just in case you might need it.

[He listens quietly, watching her hand move from crystal to his own, and his fingers curl against her. He barely notices the sword vanishing; there'll be time enough for that, later. It's not like he has the strength to fully appreciate it right now.

Home... it's a warm thought, one he can't help but dwell on. Sometimes it's hard to think about home, because to him the concept (in a literal sense) is so distressing now. Home means death, the symbolism of his country and his family made manifest into his own future. Skulls and wings and swords, and a dragon god to lord over it all and see it through. Arriving here and finding his family, forging relationships, making connections... he's been able to find home elsewhere, with the people he loves. Home isn't a place as much as it used to be, and while he still loves and misses Insomnia, that can't be home for him anymore. It's a coffin, waiting for him to climb in. Home is... safe, home is love, home is a warm bed and good food and smiling faces. It makes him think of the Kingsglaive and their pledge, for hearth and home. An ironic phrase for people who have lost their homes, but he kind of gets it, now. Maybe Drautos meant it as a wound to inflict on his soldiers more than inspiration, but they'd found families amongst themselves, hadn't they? He used to envy the camaraderie he witnessed, and had felt it with his own group during their journey together. Your brothers, Cid had reminded him. His home is... is people, now. This house, the city around them, even Elysium- they're just places. He can get lost in places, in his own head, but...

His hand tightens, giving a slight tug on hers. He can't do much, but he can hold her a little, just like this.]

I know my way home. And I know you'll guide me back when I need it.

[ With their magic and powers shared with each other, home will never be farther than a thought away if it's needed. Rather than it being a crutch, it's comforting and empowering.

Her hand comb through is hair again, bringing her palm to the side of his cheek as the other twines against his hand. His tug against hers feels weaker than it would be, reminding her of what he's just gone through. ]

Mm, Noct?

When you wake up, there's one thing I'd like you focus on.

[His brows furrow slightly, studying her expression. He hadn't been thinking about waking up, in truth. Here had been hard enough; he suspects he's going to feel much worse in his real body, though it's inevitable.]

What's up?

[ Her tone turns stern, but her gaze is nothing but loving, softening the command in her words. ] The only thing you have to do is.... rest.

[ She knows him well-- well enough to know that he might feel restless or guilty for being idle or otherwise incapacitated, especially when there is some sort of vague pressure, from duty, prophecy, or upbringing to do things, help others, and put himself second, third, and always last.

She wants none of that, so she's giving him this new task. ] Rest, [ She repeats, gently, squeezing his hand, solidifying their mutual hold. ] and recover and take your time doing so. [ There's no one here that currently needs saving, and if he's worried about saving the world, she can simply hold his hand as he rests. ]

That's it, that's the only thing you need to do. Everyone you know will take care of anything else that needs to be done. [ She knows his family will help. She knows that she'd do all of this alone for him, if they don't. ] Stay on the couch, the bed, the back porch, wherever you want to all day, whatever is best. The chores, meals, laundry, all the animals... we'll handle it, do you hear me?

You only focus on allowing your mind to recover.

[He listens to the whole spiel, opening his mouth a few times to protest in between, unceremoniously shut down before he can speak by the very obvious (but, let's be honest, necessary) callout. She's... probably right. No, scratch that, she's definitely right. He's already pretty out of it, so he can only imagine what a hot mess he'll be outside of Elysium. He can hardly move, so who knows how much energy he'll have to get around later. It's fortunate that half of his zoo doesn't require much maintenance, or he'd feel a lot more guilty than he knows he will.

He exhales a breath through his nose, casting his gaze downward, and getting a glimpse of the crystal again on the way. If he forgets what happened and what state he'd ended up in, he's got a built-in reminder to make him behave when Pyra isn't around to do it. If he pushes himself, he'll probably just delay his recovery and make things harder on everyone else.]

You want me... [He begins slowly, every word a bit drawn out for dramatic effect, acting affronted,] To take it easy and let myself be pampered? Me?

[Perish the thought, a spoiled rich boy having to relax and let someone else take care of him. He's never done that before.

He understands the meaning of her request, though. He can't blame her for worrying, really. He's worried. It's a miracle that enough of him survived to even have this conversation, and he's likely going to need some time to sort through his memories and figure out what's really his and what isn't. He's had to do this before, of course, but never on this scale. It's a hell of a daunting task, and for most of it, he has to handle it on his own. It isn't like anyone can tell him what his own memories ought to be, unless they were present for them.]

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