hugtopia_logs | those crystal blues

Still me...

[He glances down at her hand, noting its position as he considers those words more carefully. He hadn't only been worried about losing himself- he'd worried about forgetting what made him into himself. By forgetting something like that, he'd lose all sense of what's normal in his behaviour, his personality, how he speaks and what he says. It would be like becoming a different person, a mishmash of the world's history compressed into a single new personality, or maybe even multiple if he couldn't keep himself consistent. It's terrifying. He'd been terrified.

To hear her say that... it means a great deal. When he speaks with others - his family, his friends - he'll be able to gauge (hopefully) what sort of changes might exist, if anything is noticeably different. Right now she's able to reassure him, because she's come to know him so well. It's another gift from her that he'll accept gladly. He hadn't known he was so keen for that reassurance until he heard it out loud.

With a heavy exhale he leans in, half-slumping against her, his hand clutching hers against his heart. Still him, still him. They didn't change him. Again, that fear can be put to rest for a while.]

Promise... you'll tell me, if I'm ever not?

I promise.

[ Promises to him are far too easy to make. When she first arrived in this world, she probably would have thought that dangerous.

She's glad that mentality has since changed.

Her fingers tap against his chest. ] Still you, and... [ Affectionately, with a breath, ] You know, this whole conversation, I've been thinking that you are definitely still you, if it helps at all.

[ She opens her eyes. ] I think that's a good start.

[He huffs a quiet laugh, finally relenting to his tired urge and shifts back down again, resting with his head in her lap so he can look up at her without expending so much energy. She didn't seem to mind indulging him before, so he'll stay this way for a while.]

Hmm... what gave me away? My princely charm is that unmistakable?

[It does help, actually. And if she's keeping watch for it, he'll try not to worry as much about it.]

[ Well, since he's asked.... ]

Your kindness. [ She replies, simply, matter-of-factly as he returns to his usual resting position of his head upon her lap. If she is to be absolutely truthful, she enjoys how he seems to enjoy that spot. Additionally, she likes it because she's able to run her hands more easily through his hair and ease her fingers against his scalp. This also gives her easy access to his shoulders so she might attempt to massage the tension from them.

Okay, so maybe she indulges a little too much in indulging him. He absolutely deserves every second of it. ]

Your compassion. [ She continues. ] How you paused the topic of memories to think about how I was doing, and-- [ Yes, yes, they just went over how he can care for her too, but that's not the point. ] that's so very you, putting others first. [ She gives him an affectionate look. ]

What else...

Oh, maybe this? [ She pokes at the edge of his cheek. ] Mmmm. Just as squishy as I remembered-- [ Poke poke poke po-- ] Ah, there we go. [ Her finger is right at the corner of his lips, tracing the edge of his tired smile. ] Pokable cheeks and a handsome smile: check and check. Still Noctis.

Some of those are acceptable features, I guess. [He purses his lips, subtly kissing her finger while it's there, just because he can.] It's nice to know you'd miss me, if my brain got taken over by a crystal.

[His voice wobbles a little at the end there, trying to accommodate their usual banter with the... okay, yeah, the trauma of what he'd just gone through. He prefers not to openly dwell on his problems overmuch, and his excuse would be that they have talked about it in depth already; time and distance will do him the most good going forward, alongside her crystal embedded in his chest. He wants to depend on this normalcy, too, even in sparse moments here and there for a while. He can relax and be taken care of, but coddling won't fix his problems.

He hopes it doesn't count as running away. He's not trying to, not exactly.]

[ She takes the waver in his voice as a healthy sign, actually, for she wouldn't expect him to return to his normal level of banter so easily and so soon. Covering up his pain would have lead her to be suspicious that he was putting on a mask, and that's not what he needs. Balance is. ]

I'd miss you like the sunset always misses the sunrise. [ Her voice lowers, heartfelt, and her finger flattens out with the rest of them, allowing her to cup his cheek, and realizing, belatedly, that perhaps her metaphor isn't the best choice...

....Or maybe it is? This is the conversation for it, grief and hope and everything included. She's allowed to express how she'd miss him, he's allowed to hear it. ]

But so long as we're here, we'll get to watch both together.

[He closes his eyes at that. Not the best choice, perhaps, but not the wrong thing to say, either. Its impact is more palpable for how personal it is. In some ways, that's a good thing, and he won't object to it. His fate isn't allowed to ruin sunrises or sunsets for him; both are too beautiful to never mention again.]

Mm... the latter might be more effort, though. [Don't think of the obvious, don't ruin the mood.] You know I hate early mornings. [There we go.]

I think we can hold off on early morning for now, since your one job is to do your best to rest. [ Which includes sleeping in, if he needs any reminder that she's going to hold him to his task of recovery. ] And I mean it, both the resting and the 'doing your best' part.

[ Pyra's hand leaves his cheek, moving to lie over his beating heart again. There's no counter for when either of them might leave this world, which means there's only so many more times she might be able to feel the warmth of him beneath her hands. She won't take this for granted. ]

You can take things a day at a time, being patient with yourself. You can do your best, too. But... remember: your level of best can change, day to day, too.

[ The standards he holds himself to when he's fully healthy shouldn't be the same to which he should hold himself while recovering. Some days will be more difficult than others, some will not be. The 'best' he can do can change moment to moment, and he shouldn't be so hard on himself. ]

The reminder... probably helps.

[Hard to admit, but she has a good point in all of that. Sometimes the complaint that he's doing his best and that people shouldn't expect more from him is true, and sometimes it's just laziness on his part. But no one should be expected to function in peak condition all day, every day. It's not healthy, and that's something he needs help remembering sometimes. Lofty expectations make for anxious princes.]

You're allowed to drag me back to bed if I look like I'm pushing myself too hard. Pick me up and throw me in there if you gotta. You're strong enough to pull it off. [Actually, the mental image is pretty funny, albeit embarrassing.] I won't fight you.

Oh, it'll be my pleasure. [ The lighter banter makes her own smile come easier, too. As if having the same mental image, she can't help a soft giggle. ]

I'll probably just end up cuddling with you and Carbuncle, too.

Don't think either of us will mind. Actually, that reminds me. Bud, this is okay, right? The two crystals aren't gonna cause a problem with each other?

[He has no idea how one would work with the other, and their magics have never interfered dangerously before, but they've never been so... entwined. He doesn't want Pyra to end up getting hurt for saving him.

In response to his call, Carbuncle pads casually around the two, ears flicking. It stretches out, yawns hugely for such a little creature, then curls up wordlessly against Noct's side, tucked in a spot between their bodies. Noctis blinks, then relaxes again.]

...Guess that settles it.

I think Carbuncle has the right idea. [ She reaches out to pet the little Messenger behind its ears. ] Do you think you can follow his lead, Noct?

[ Her hand returns to his chest, drawing a heart over his heart. There's people waiting for him outside, and she's sure he'd know that without her telling. But if she says that now, perhaps he'd only want to wake up sooner, and right now she wishes to encourage rest. ]

[His eyes follow her hand, after a moment recognizing her intention. The fact that he'd ended up back in her lap so quickly is clue enough of what's necessary- and would be, even without her multiple reminders to take it easy and rest. Yeah, he's at least 75% of the way there already, feeling the strain on his eyes trying to keep them open. It's bound to be worse when he's in his real body.

He doesn't want to sleep and wake up on the other side, in truth. Not for a while yet. Doing that will mean more pain and exhaustion than here, confronting the consequences of what just happened, having to answer uncomfortable questions. That time will come no matter what he does, but... still. It's difficult.

Nevertheless, he closes his eyes.]

...You'll be there?

[Needy, a little clingy perhaps when she's already given so much, but he doesn't want to wake up alone.]

I'll be there.

[ Lifting her hand to her lips, she kisses the tips of two of her fingers, then pressing the pads of them to the center of his lips, sealing the promise.

He's welcome to sleep within this realm until he's ready, and it's likely to be a gentler rest than if he were slumbering within the confines of his own physical body. Until he's ready to wake, she'll be with him. ]

those crystal blues

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject