What Light is Worth This Dark?

[kingkingcxiii]

♥ Who: Regis Lucis Caelum CXIII + One Closed thread for Noctis. Everything else is Open to anyone.
♥ Where: Various. Starting at Ainea's temple and moving elsewhere. His house, Valeo, and Affurgato primarily, but there will also be a wild card prompt if someone wants to run into him elsewhere. Just let me know where!
♥ When: Starting Dec 1st and covering the first half of the month or so.
♥ What: Regis has finally woke up from his canon update and to say he has a lot to process is an understatement!
♥ Rating: PG-13 just to be safe. There may be some serious discussions about not fun things in a few threads.


Facing my destiny

Ainea's Temple (Closed to Noctis):

[The thing about nightmares is that they are suppose to be the worst things a person's mind can throw at them. For the last few years, though, there has been no nightmare Regis' mind could create that could be worse than the one awaiting him when he wakes up. It had been bad enough to learn that his son would have to give his live to save all of Eos, but on top of that, to have his own obsessive--and Regis will admit to that even if no one else will call it that--efforts to change that fate almost cost Noctis his life is more than any father should have to bear.

And then Tenebrae happened...

No, no nightmare could ever come close to one of those things, let alone all. Not that, that fact ever stopped his mind from trying.

It is a different kind of nightmare to wake up to a momentarily unfamiliar room and a rush of memories. This has happened before, but he has been away so much longer this time that it takes longer for the memories to settle in. The rush is more overwhelming than before and Regis can't help but unconsciously reach out for something familiar. When he finds the familiar, he can't say why it is so, but is it so comforting that his eyes open looking for the person his mind doesn't even know will be there. He is not disappointed at who he finds.

It is obvious from the state of the room that the young man slumped over the bed fast asleep has not been his only visitor, but at the moment, he is the only visitor that matters.

His son.

Here. Safe. And, most importantly, away from the Fate that will take everything from him.

Regis is torn between yanking Noctis into his arms and never letting go and feeling that he has no right to. He is the father who has failed to protect; the king whose great power once again cannot save the person who means the most to him.

What right does he have?

As memory finally starts to settle back where it belongs, Regis raises a shaking hand over his son's head, but can't bring himself to actually touch the dark hair that is so much like his. So much like that of his wife.

He has no right.]



A never-ending story

Text to all friends and family (Open):

[After Regis finally leaves Ainea's temple he sends out a short message to those who he knows will still be worrying about his condition. How many knew what he knows now and kept it a secret just as they had kept secret that his wife would soon die? Once he wondered what could be worse than that. Now he knows.]

My thanks to everyone who watched over me while I was asleep. I am sorry for having worried you. Please know that I have awakened and returned home.

For those who understand what this means, it has been five years. I now know.

And yes. I have talked to my son.

Regis Lucis Caelum CXIII



I'm a warrior on a journey home.

Wild Card--Various Locations (Open):

[For the first part of December, Regis can be found spending a lot of time a Valeo. Despite the memories it holds of those no longer here, it is a place of calm and healing for him.

Apparently, he and Cor didn't do too badly when they set the place up since that was always what is was suppose to be.

When he is not at Valeo, he will be found most often either at his home or at Affurgato. For those who know of Eos' history, they may be able to understand why he seems more distant than before, more lost in thought.

He is a man who has just had his view on his place in the world shattered, and he is still struggling to accept his new place.]


(OOC: If you want to find Regis somewhere else, please feel free! Just let me know where in your tag!)

Comments

[carbungle]

[It's been a harrowing week, with Noctis being torn between keeping his distance to let the gods do their thing, and sitting vigil at his father's side like last time- and like he knows the man had done for him at least twice already, if not plenty more of which he has no memory. He'd wavered here and there. Life does go on, and he needed to eat, clean up, stretch sore legs, give some care to other members of his family (even if they understood his need to be here). And he'd been terrified of witnessing too many changes, of seeing the man's hair go grey, of him creeping closer and closer to the death they both knew would come too early. At the first signs of discolour in his father's hair, Noctis had had to leave for hours, unable to come to terms with what it could all mean. In the end, though, he'd always come back and linger far longer than he should, and at last fate throws him a bone and allows him to be present when Regis returns to them. His hands are folded as a pillow beneath him, the Ring of the Lucii and symbol of all they're meant to lose sitting bold on his finger.

He can be difficult to wake under the best of circumstances, and all of this happening means he's more tired than ever. Months of living on the road back home have ingrained in him good instincts however, and Gralea gave him the 'gift' of paranoia being added to the mix, especially when his back is exposed as it is now. When Regis' hand lingers for too long he stirs, eyes clenching, and turns his head to one side, facing Regis. There's a handful of seconds for the king to decide what to do next before eyes (Aulea's eyes) open and gaze at him with a quiet, stunned disbelief.]

...Dad...?

[Is this another cruel dream, or is he really back?]

[kingkingcxiii]

[It would be no exaggeration to say that Aulea's eyes were just one of the many things that always cut through Regis' will like a knife, so it is no surprise that seeing those eyes looking back at him from his son's face shakes his resolve to the core. Here is his son who--like himself--is so much closer now to an early death than the last time he saw him. How close is it now? Weeks? Days? Hours? Regis has to swallow hard to keep the very thought from making him sick with pain and guilt.

Eventually, though, it's that one word, the disbelief and the need for something concrete to chase it away, that breaks through all the emotion. Despite all his resolve, Regis is still a father and his son is in need of comfort.]

Let me hug you.

[The words are soft, a request almost a plea. It's okay if he hugs his son because Noctis needs it, right? Regis' right to hug his son has no place in the debate if his son needs it.

Yeah...he's just going to go with that for now. Guilt be damned.]

[carbungle]

[There's a moment of hesitation where Noctis has to roll those words around in his mind like they're alien to him, like it's something that shouldn't be, like it's not allowed for a dozen or more reasons he'd told himself growing up, feelings he'd struggled to shake over and over since they properly met as father and son here. Dad's busy, Dad misses Mom and I look like her, Dad knows I'm lying to him, Dad's lying to me-

But he's asking. Like that, he's asking, as if he desperately needs it, longing for the contact that they've had to deny one another for two decades, and while Regis might not know it went on as long as it did, it probably feels that way. Noct knows it sure as hell did for him some days. Waiting and waiting and going days without so much as seeing one another, let alone being permitted to touch. Finding out he couldn't walk on his own anymore via the news. Denied an in-person meeting before his own wedding and sent off as a prince, not a son. Regis had shied away from his offered support when they departed Insomnia, but he'd reached out in the end, held his shoulder, why did he stand there smiling as I left-

Because he knew. He knew, and that would be their last chance. He's older now. Does he know?

It hardly matters, in the end. Regis is asking now, and the longing in Noct's heart is just as powerful as it was when he was a little boy waiting alone on the steps of the Citadel for a time to play that they both knew would never come. He's not busy here. He's older, his mother's features hardening to that of a man's. And maybe they don't have to lie anymore.

With a soft noise he draws himself upright and closes the distance, reaching for that hug. He does need it; Regis can hold him without shame.]

[kingkingcxiii]

[A flood of emotion crashes over Regis as his son moves into the hug and he can't help but wrap his arms around Noctis in a fierce hug, mindful now of the injury that he is sure must still affect his son until this day. He has to bite his own lip in order to keep back the sob of pain, frustration and a million other feelings that are running through him. If only hugs could communicate all that words have such a difficult time expressing. Perhaps then he would know the right way to apologize for failing his son on such a vital thing.]

I tried...so hard to find a different way.

[The words are so soft, halting, and remorseful that it wouldn't be surprising if Noctis almost misses them. Regis doesn't realize at first he's even started to speak them aloud, but they had to be spoken. It's just feels as if each word pulls a brick from the wall he's built around himself. One brick, then another and another until he's not sure how he will be able to keep himself together. How long had--would--that wall stand back home? And now, it only takes a few moments to fall to rubble here where they can finally be truthful with each other as they always wanted to be.]

[scourgingstars]

[Several years was a long time, for mortals with a concept of time at all. And Ardyn didn't need to guess what it was Regis knew, feeling something very unsteady to his hands as he read the message. What else could it have been, there wasn't much left to know that Ardyn himself was aware of.]

[Admittedly, he wasn't sure how Regis would know that, but the particulars were irrelevant next to the end result. And the end result as it stood now was that there wouldn't exactly be a line of Lucis before long if all went as it was meant to.]

[For once, his unease was rooted in that rather than the certainty that someone would find a new reason to hate him based on his future self--as justified as he would think it to be and how such an uncertainty still lingered, logic at least told him that Regis of all people would know Ardyn didn't want this any more than Noctis or anyone else.]

[More than that, he knew it wasn't as if Ardyn could dare try to say anything in consolation or comfort; he didn't exactly have the right to try even if he could offer anything of use. That was what bothered him more than anything--knowing Regis had said and done exactly what Ardyn needed at his lowest and now he wasn't quite sure how to do the same.]

[Well. What kind of a healer sage was he if he didn't try, right? He couldn't afford to be so melancholy when someone dear to him was sure to be worse off and in need of a hand. So Ardyn took a deep breath, picked himself up, and set to work in what limited way he could; setting himself to work straightening up and heading to the kitchen.]

[By the time Regis got home, there would be the comforting warmth and smell of some recipe learned from Ignis cooking on the stove, and Ardyn himself poking his head out of the kitchen with a hesitant but welcoming smile.]

...Welcome home. How are you feeling?

[kingkingcxiii]

[The Regis who only knew memories of Eos would never be able to put together what the Regis who has the memories of Havenwell as well can. Eos' Regis knew nothing of Ardyn's true history and pain, but as the Regis of Havenwell walks back to his home, more than memories click into place. Knowledge also clicks into place and he adds Ardyn to the list of people he wishes he could change the fate of.

For more than one reason now.

It's no surprise to him when he opens the door that he smells food and hears Ardyn moving around in the kitchen. It seems all Lucis Caelums are good at one thing: deflecting emotions into anything but talking about them. Regis is no different, and while he knows he doesn't have to hide things here, at the moment he is still processing a lot. A little deflection gives him some time to finish processing.]

Between you and me?

[Regis pulls a small, tired smile to his face.]

My knee is killing me. Walking home in the cold probably wasn't my greatest plan ever.

[scourgingstars]

...

[The look on Ardyn's face at that could only be called 'bewildered', but on the other hand what else could he really have expected? He didn't really think Regis would blame him for what was beyond their control, but that was probably the last response Ardyn expected.]

Well... [So much so that he briefly fumbled for a response.] ...well, sit down and I'll see what I can do about it, if you like.

[kingkingcxiii]

[There is something so familiar and comforting about the bewildered look on Ardyn's face that Regis almost laughs. Were he not so weary both in body and mind, he would have, but for now, he instead just follows Ardyn's suggestion and takes a seat with a sigh.]

A little heat would probably be enough. Please don't hurt yourself on my account. Is there anything you need to shut off in the kitchen first?

[He's the one who will eventually burn it down. Don't you go taking that from him, Ardyn.]

[blindedbyloyalty]

[ Ignis is grasping at the phone in his hand, perhaps a bit too tightly.

Regis knows, the biggest clue was that he said that he'd spoken to Noctis. Really, what else could this be about? Noctis' impending fate is something that Ignis suspected that Regis knew about before, but now that he knows officially, Ignis can't help be wonder if the king knew before his nap.

Ignis breath comes out shaky as he decides on what to do. He doesn't respond, not right away, taking a day or two for himself. Ignis just needs to think it over for a bit first before talking to Regis himself about it all.

Ignis and Noctis had discussed his fate almost a year ago, and he'd promised Noctis that he'll find a way to save him from his death. Could he keep it though is another question in itself, he knows that he's up against Gods and finding the answer won't be easy, not after the vision he'd gotten in Altissia. And he tried to delay their journey by suggestioning that they stop, but Noctis wasn't a fan of it at all.

'It's just that... We've already lost so much. Too much.'

After a day or two, he runs his finger over his phone. He's tried honestly, tired of losing people that he cares about; Gladio, Tony, Lady Lunafreya herself left sometime back. Regis being in a nap scared him too, worried him. In his spare time, he went to the temple to check up on the king and Noctis; he knew that his dad being asleep scared Noctis.

His thoughts flicker back to when he could see some months ago. Regis admitting why he'd assigned Ignis to Noctis in the first place, becoming the friend and brother that neither could have by blood, Noctis losing his mother, Ignis lost his parents when he was young. Sure, he had his uncle, now he wonders, really wonders, if it weren't political matters involved if Regis would have adopted Ignis in a heartbeat too.

He could use a father about now. ]

Regis. Where are you?

[kingkingcxiii]

[When he and Cor had created Valeo, it was meant to be a place of healing and rest for those in Havenwell. At that time, Regis could never have guessed just how much healing he would end up getting from the place himself. As usual, he had thought only of others during its creation.

Cor had known better. Regis is more sure of that now than ever. Being at the business they had built was almost like having Cor there again.

When Ignis' message arrives, Regis is looking over yet another note he has found by a plant. While there is no indication of who left them, Regis has no questions about who their creator is. He just wonders when Era will actually stop by so he can thank her.

Setting the card aside, Regis pulls open his tablet so he can read Ignis' message and respond. He has already talked to his son, but he has to wonder how Ignis has been taking all of this considering how close he is to Noctis.]

I'm at Valeo, right now. Is there something I can help you with?

[blindedbyloyalty]

On my way.

[ The fact that he doesn't answer the last part is too telling, he doesn't want to have this discussion over text. Ignis lets out a heavy sigh and starts making his way towards Valeo.

He takes a little bit to get there, being careful of his surroundings with his cane and just not thinking about anything really. He keeps his mind clear until he gets there.

Ignis nudges the door open and steps through, letting it shut behind him. ]

Regis, are we clear? [ Are they alone? ]

[kingkingcxiii]

[The text does make it clear that Ignis has something heavy on his mind--something to be discussed face-to-face--so Regis takes the time between that message's arrival and Ignis' arrival to clean up a few things so that once they young man arrives, he can easily close the store.

Considering the first thing Ignis asks upon his arrival, it seems Regis' hunch was right.]

Yes, we are clear. Why don't you take a seat while I lock the door?

Valeo!

[vamptired]

[It was only a matter of time before he arrived at Valeo's doorstep, beckoned sooner than later by the siren call of an apothecary's collection. When he enters, he casts a curious glance around the interior before settling his gaze on Regis, who's an unfamiliar face. Louis nods in greeting as he steps farther inside.]

Hello.

[kingkingcxiii]

[When the unfamiliar voice calls out in greeting, Regis looks up a little surprised. While healing items are useful, he doesn't usually get that many unfamiliar faces since things are so quiet in the city. It's a welcome change.]

Hello and welcome to Valeo! My name is Regis. Is there something I can help you with?

[vamptired]

I'm Louis. Nice to meet you.

[Most everything is unfamiliar to him, and he wants to change that. He takes another step forward, gaze drifting momentarily to steal another glance at the interior.]

I'm curious about your wares. What do you carry?

[kingkingcxiii]

It's nice to meet you as well.

[Regis takes a moment to pull a couple of glass bottles from a cabinet before he answers the question that has been posed to him.]

The primary things the shop carries are magical potions and elixirs. They are something my family is skilled in making, and while there isn't often need for them in a place like this, it is still better to be safe than sorry. Does your world have anything like this for healing or is it more focused on using herbal remedies?

[astralera]

Hello,

I hope you were warm enough when you awoke, and that the season's chill is not treating you unfairly.

I admit I am not familiar with the ages certain events occurred.

Do you know of the marilith?

[kingkingcxiii]

[While Regis had hoped that Era would stop by the shop or his home to talk to him--honestly, he wanted nothing else but to give her a hug--getting the text from her is a welcome start. It just means he is going to have to hunt her down to give her that hug later.]

Ah, were you responsible for that blanket as well as the lovely notes I found with my plants? I was quite warm, thank you very much.

[There is a pause before he answers her about the second question as he deals with both the emotions tied to his memories of the Marilith, but also his wonder about how she knows. At least the wonder doesn't last as long as the emotions do. Era mentioned once that she had seen some of Noctis' memories. Some of those memories must have been related to the attack.]

I do. I also know of the Fall of Tenebrae and of Noctis' true fate. I apologize that you have had to carry the burden of knowing of some of these events and keeping them a secret from me.

[astralera]

[ Cowardice in the face of being forgotten kept her away from Valeo once she knew Regis had recovered, and now the fear of intruding leaves her to tread carefully, lest she misstep somewhere. Though she does miss the plants at his shop a great deal... ]

You're welcome.


It was a burden I was glad to carry in your stead.

[shroudedsecrets]

[ Being no stranger to Regis falling into a sleep before and seeing the ramifications it had upon others, Honerva had done her fair share of being mindful of his condition, and his message at least alerts her that something significant had occurred in the passage of time he had experienced. Something that might surely change or effect him, and she certainly knew pieces of that story from varying sides. Mostly it was a concern, at how his mindset might be affected, dealing with living a time away from this place and being unaware of what he had experienced here. There was something always... alarming about that aspect, that it might happen to anyone, to be torn away and then endure.

And yet, here was the man himself, stepping into the café and looking so much more worn and tired than he has before. They're not quite at Candlenights but getting there, little festive décor making an appearance for the weekends. Once he finds himself a seat and settles, certain cats will avail themselves to him, Kova at least recognizing a friend in need, and Honerva will make her way over as well, bringing him something warm and sweet to drink. She would have sent him a note welcoming him back, but there was something all the more personal about getting to say it in person. Though hopefully they've come a long way since the first time they've talked in these circumstances. The added years of strain on him are alarming since he'd only said it was five years, but it is only something else to note. Softly, she speaks. ]

... Welcome back. I see Kova has already been eager to join you.

[kingkingcxiii]

[Regis can't help but smile as he turns his attention from Kova when Honerva approaches. Something tells him Kova won't hold not being the center of his attention against him when he is giving that attention to Honerva instead.]

Indeed. Is it too much to hope that you will be willing to join me as well?

[She is right. Meetings in person are so much better than a text or email is even if it is harder to hide the fact he is more strained and tired than he was before. Maybe it is because he doesn't feel the need to hide that from her. He knows she understands as much as she can. Maybe even better than he understands.]

[shroudedsecrets]

[ Well, hard not to give him a small smile at least, as she presents him his favored beverage. ]

Then, far be it from me to resist your invitation, of course. I am glad to see you.

[ Glad, or perhaps grateful might be the better term, better to see him awakened than in that state, even if it felt so foreboding. She was no stranger to tragedy in family but it filled her with unease that this one would be filled with so much related to the passage of time itself. Perhaps some sort of dichotomy related to the gods of both worlds... an unsettling thought. ]

wildcard valeo

[iustaegis]

[ It had been difficult for her to see how stressful it was for Noctis these past few weeks as Regis had slept, but she had done her best to be supportive of him and allow him space at the Ainea's temple. When he'd return, she'd do her best to comfort him. When Pyra would visit Regis' sleeping form for herself, it was all she could do to hold his hand as it seemed to age as each second passed by. Helplessness never felt so dire.

But on the day that Regis sends out the message, Pyra replies that she will visit him soon-- only that, by chance, she's passing by Valeo, and she sees that the shop is open. Who else could be inside by the king himself, already busying himself with the inventory. ]

...Regis?

[ She calls out to him, approaching the counter. ]

[kingkingcxiii]

[When he hears her voice, Regis can't help but turn toward her with a smile on his face. His eyes are tired, but he's slowly starting to process everything. It is going to take a lot of time and talking, but the first step has been taken.]

Hello, Pyra! How are you doing today?

[The greeting isn't enough, though, especially now that he knows how much Noctis had been keeping from him. Pyra had been even more of a support to his son than Regis ever knew. The least he can do is step around the counter and offer her a hug.]

[iustaegis]

Regis--

[ He's stepping around the counter to offer her a hug, and she accepts it gratefully, arming going around him in turn. For all but a few moments, she simply holds him as such, wanting and hoping that the embrace will offer some sort of comfort and support to him as much as it may have been meant for her...

She pulls back only enough to elevate her gaze, looking at him and taking in all the added creases at the corners of his eyes, the worry lines on his forehead, the grey speckling his hair.

He's aged, and his eyes are tired, sad.

Why must mortals be... mortal like so, taxed by the passing of time? ]

....How are you feeling?