hugtopia_logs | happy birthday to u

Entry tags:

happy birthday to u

♥ Who: sad rawna kids, maybe less sad other people
♥ Where: rawna’s house
♥ When: 7/4-7/8
♥ What: canon update party
♥ Rating: prolly pg for intense worry

This was not how the afternoon was supposed to go.

It was really just supposed to be a little lounge in the afternoon. Kai had taken Bug out for a little romp in the sunshine, let the little guy stretch its… uh… rind? Get its roll on. Enjoy that one patch of grass for a while, a fruitbug needed some quality time outside sometimes, probably. Kai did at least. Playing with the orange eventually devolved into just sitting around for a bit as it rolled around, and that eventually led to laying back to watch the clouds roll by. Had there been any plans for dinner? Was the kind of idle thought that passed by. Maybe when all three of them were home, they could try making oyakodon or something together. That seemed like a good time.

When idle thoughts and lazy clouds became a nap, he didn’t know.

He didn’t wake up when Rawna’s priests came and picked him up. He didn’t wake up when Bug squeaked at them either, so he missed all the erratic circles it rolled around them as they went off to the temple.

It rolled all the way there, and all the way back, rolling around in obvious circles in the yard until someone it knew came home. Was it you? Yes? Well, better follow that fruit cuz there it went down the road to Rawna’s house.

The priests were kind of expecting them. Even with the mishaps that had happened, Rawna’s priests were familiar enough with this group to know that there was one pertinent reason Shinji or Kyoko would have shown up right now…. Even if they didn’t yet. Yes, their friend was this way. Yes, they could visit with him.

He didn’t wake up then, either.

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Kaito might not have cared how his miraculous flight was accomplished, but Kyoko would very much like to know! Hey now! Please ask more questions young man!

But it was too late for Kaito to get any answers now, and the story kept going regardless--in equally alarming directions. Watching the shifts in Kaito's expression, Kyoko bit her lip. "And... you went and got in the middle of all that."

She knew he had a reason for it, that this was just the kind of person he was, but... ah, she didn't like the thought at all.

No, no that is not a good thought in the least. Bizarre invisible flights are one thing, and yes that raised plenty of concerns on its own, but heading into an airbase where someone was deliberately crashing a plane? Seeing that, and still going in?

That's the kind of person Kai is, Shinji knows this, and Kei is important to him. It's not... a surprise to hear that Kai would do something so unbelievably reckless, but the thought of it ties his stomach up in knots. He's just a human. As tough as he may be, people are so fragile compared to the kind of destruction he's talking about.

Shinji doesn't say anything. His jaw tightens, his mouth pulling into a thin line and the hand he has at Kai's back curls into the fabric of his shirt, like it's going to stop him from doing something he's already done. But, he won't stop him from talking about it. Go on. He hates this already, but go on.

It was all extremely true to form. Just running right in regardless of what he knew about the situation. They both knew what kind of idiot he was, it wasn't hard to trace where this was going. Kai drew in a deep breath as he felt that tight hold on his shirt, just holding it for a moment as he nodded. Yeah. He'd gone and gotten right into the middle of all that. No surprises there.

"Drove right into it. Crashed into the guy. Not real sure what else happened there, but there was another explosion and he wasn't anywhere when I got up. Kei was the only one there."

A small smile tugged at Kai's mouth. "He told me off, of course. We both knew I was being an idiot. I couldn't feel that bad about it though, seeing how awful he looked. I have no idea what kind of shit he'd been through since I saw him last."

I just want to go home and sleep. That smile faded. There had only been red and dark.

"Last thing I saw was him getting shot."

At least they knew now that there had been someone who would chew this boy out for being reckless. Thank you, Kei. It didn't do much to soothe the anxious twist in Kyoko's gut, though.

Neither did anything else Kaito had to say after that.

Shinji had made the right call, gripping Kai's shirt like that; Kyoko was stuck digging her nails into her palms, fists buried in her lap.

Immortal or not, hearing about someone--an important friend, no less--getting shot was hard to just absorb. Kyoko's breath hitched. "The last you saw--but--he... can't die, right?" And it didn't sound like Kaito to just walk away from that. Something was wrong, the painful uncertainty in her belly rising up through her chest.

Shinji had gotten an uncomfortably close seat to seeing one of those Kei deaths in the past, and just hearing about Kai getting a front-row viewing to yet another one is enough to turn his stomach. Getting shot, right in front of Kai's eyes... that's chilling, he knows just how awful that it. Even if he knows that it's not a permanent thing for Kei... god.

Was that really the last of it, though?

When Shinji finally finds his voice again, it's quiet and breathless, his grip tightening even further on Kai's shirt. "And then you woke up back here?" It's possible, but... he's not so sure.

This was the part that had kept him from talking about things earlier. Sure, everything else was admittedly pretty bad and unbelievable on its own. This was the culmination of all his idiocy and regret though. A very different kind of terrible he knew wouldn't sit well with unrested minds.

"He can't die," Kai quietly confirmed for Kyoko. Kei had undoubtedly gotten right back up from that, just like he had before. Just like he had who knew how many times between that night on the riverbank and that afternoon on the base. He went quiet again with that thought, only shaking his head at Shinji's question.

"...Woke up in the sewers under the base," he finally went on, lifting his hand to motion across his chest. "Had huge bruises all over. Broken ribs. My shirt was all kinds of messed up. I..."

He trailed off, his palm fully resting over his heart as if he needed to remind himself that the beat was steady behind his ribs. It was real, just like the important people around him.

"I'm pretty sure I'm the one that died."

Shinji's guess would have made perfect sense, and Kyoko had tried to latch onto it right away, but an uneasiness still hung over her--it didn't feel like Kaito was done telling his story, but what more could there be after the last he saw of Kei? A whisper of fear tugged at her heart even before Kaito started to spell everything out for them so painfully.

She wanted to say something. She wanted to clasp his hands, she wanted to hold his face and stare into his eyes, to make sure they really were bright with life--but all she could do was stare at him and tremble.

That last statement makes Shinji's blood run cold. Didn't something like that happen once before in that dream he accidentally wandered into? Even if it turned out okay in the end - he was still alive after all - it was still deeply disturbing, enough to send a chill through him even now.

"But..." There's a pretty big 'but' here! His grip is still tight on Kai's shirt, but as his glance darts over to Kyoko to see her reaction to all of this, he lightly rests his other hand at her back. "You still woke up. Does... does that mean...?"

There's a precedent for that in his world, after all.

There was so much of a precedent for it!

It didn't feel right though. As surprisingly easy as that explanation would have been, Kai had had a while to think about why that wasn't the conclusion he was supposed to draw from this. "...I don't think it does. Comin' back is pretty quick from what I can tell, and... don't think I would've been left there if I could've actually done anything." The whole reason Kei had ditched him in the first place was because he was human. This time also had to be because he had a reason to worry, probably?

"I dunno how it happened but..." He reached over, very gingerly resting his hand at Kyoko's arm. It was warm as it ever was. "I'm not going to test any theories." Kai tilt his head to look up at Shinji. "Promise."

Maybe if she were hearing this story from someone she loved a little less, Kyoko would have been quicker to link up the details about Kaito waking up after he thought he'd died, but was a little hung up on the whole death thing. Even if he had miraculously come back from it, the thought still shook her, right down to her bones.

Kaito's touch made her flinch, but before he could get any ideas about drawing it away, she'd covered his hand tightly with her own. She couldn't stop shaking yet, nor could she find her voice, but she couldn't bear to lose his warmth.

Whether he may be an ajin or not really wouldn't have meant a whole lot going forward, either way. Shinji doesn't want to see him die, whether or not he'd come back to life. Nobody gets to die on him, not if he can help it.

But that's not something he had any control of while Kai was gone. And honestly, would he truly be able to control that here? All he can count on in the future is that promise, which, yes, if Kai says he won't be doing anything reckless, Shinji can trust that. But still... still.

"Kaito..."

That's awful. He doesn't know what else to say to that. It's horrifying, and even thinking of Kai going through it makes him feel sick.

He meant it at least. From the bottom of his heart. He didn't want to be the reason Shinji looked like that, or why Kyoko was trembling all the way to her fingertips. However he could manage it, he wanted to keep that promise. He wanted to keep these hearts safe.

"I had a lot of time to think about it," he went on in a murmur, rubbing his thumb carefully over Kyoko's arm. "Come to terms with it, I guess. I dunno." It had all started to feel far away somehow. One big fucked up memory that started alone and ended just the same. Relaying it brought back closer. Kai lifted his free hand up over his shoulder, hoping he didn't need to ask what he wanted from Shinji.

"It was right back to juvie after that... 'Til they let me out. Having two escape artists was too much trouble, I guess." He sighed. "Was back on my own 'til I came back to what's important."

These two, right here.

Her grip on Kaito's hand stayed strong even as her trembling slowly calmed. With that soft brush of his thumb, a final shudder eased out of her, and she was able to look at him with clear, if troubled, eyes again.

He came back to what was important, he said. Kyoko's heart ached fiercely, but she looked up at Shinji for a moment before meeting those gold eyes again. Squeezing his hand, she gave a small, but firm, nod. "Then," there her voice went getting raspy again. "you'd better stick to that promise, nice and strict."

He sees that hand slide up and over his shoulder, though for a moment Shinji can't coax his hand into releasing Kai's shirt from his grasp. Like it's the only thing keeping him from suddenly slipping away. That's ridiculous, though, he knows it, so after a few moments of hesitation, his hold eases off only to find a new thing to tightly grasp in Kai's hand. This is his now, he's not going to be letting go.

"Please," he softly adds to Kyoko's statement, bowing his head forward until he can bring it to a careful rest against Kai's. He draws in a shaky breath, voice trembling to match as he continues, "You're too important, and you'll always have a place here, so... please, don't do anything that might keep you from coming back to us."

He'd thought he'd been pretty good at approaching the memory with a level head. There had just been a vast underestimation of how much these trembling voices were going to absolutely fuck him up. At least now Kai could finally wrap his fingers back around Shinji's, holding on just as tight as he squeezed Kyoko's arm in turn.

Kai was sure Kei had been trying to tell him to find something for his life. He was lucky enough to have found it already.

"I won't," he promised softly. "No more regrets. Gonna come home no matter what."

Kyoko breathed in deep, and then let it out as a sigh. There. No crying, now. She would just gently tug his hand down from her arm, so she could cradle it in both of hers, near her chest.

"--'ll wait forever," she mumbled despite herself, head dipping in a tiny nod.

Ahh, that's a good thing to hear from Kyoko. There had been a small part of Shinji, very small by this point, that was worried about dragging her in to things she might not have wanted any part in. What fun was there in waiting around a comatose body for several days? What if she wanted to confront her own sorrow in a different way? He knows he couldn't have forced her to stick around if she was really averse to it, but that mumble was enough to squash out any lingering doubts.

There's no need to worry when she says things like that, when she includes herself in on the waiting, on any future, hypothetical waiting. Shinji tilts his head ever so slightly so that he can steal a glance in her direction, just... wanting to see if he can read the look on her face as she said that, before closing his eyes and exhaling softly.

"Right." If he's somewhere they can't chase him down, then no wait will be too long. "We're always going to be here for you."

So it was time for him to die all over again.

That's what he was getting from the ache in his heart. There was too much going on here between what he could and couldn't have. He held on tight to Shinji's hand like a lifeline, as if it were the only thing that was going to get him through the turbulence Kyoko's gentle gesture had thrown him in to. It already meant so much, he shouldn't have wanted it to mean anything more than that. It didn't mean more than that. It didn't need to mean more than that.

But god it was nice to pretend it did. Just for tonight.

"...Then I've already gotten everything I could have possibly wanted for a birthday." Not the most poignant thing he could have said, but it was better than his alternative. He didn't need to get into how miserable it had been to wake up to the same nothing day in and day out. He didn't need to reiterate how happy it'd been to wake up to them at long last. Not when he could simply be happy with them. Just like this.

That had been a dangerous thing to say. Kyoko had known it even as she let the words slip from free from her lips--this might be showing just a little too much of her hand.

But she couldn't help it--she wanted him to know at least that much. And, risky as it was, this might be the only chance she ever got to put words to the burning in her heart.

Anyway, everything was fine right now; Shinji had chimed in easily, and Kaito had accepted her confession quietly. It was safe to sniffle, rub her face against her shoulder, and look softly up at the two of them again. "... Jeez. Don't think you're gonna get away with just this."

"We're both gonna spoil you rotten." That's a promise, Kai. "After all that, you deserve more than this."

He understands, he really does. What could be better than seeing the people you love after going through so much turmoil. If he were in Kai's shoes, he wouldn't dare ask for any more, but he's not. He wants to make sure Kai gets showered with as much love and care as they have to offer him.

Shinji shakes his head a bit, nuzzling slightly into Kai's hair as he does, and just... soaks in the presence of the two others here. He's so glad, so glad that things can settle back down into something resembling normalcy. "Thank you... for coming back to us."

"Mmm." Kai tilt his head a bit, not enough to brush Shinji away but just so that he could lean his cheek against their clasped hands. He didn't know how he could reply to that. He wasn't sure that desperately wanting to return to them had actually done anything. Maybe it had. He was grateful someone listened if it did.

"Wanted to," he ended up mumbling. He'd always want to.

There was something else he wanted though, and maybe if they were both so adamant about their threats of a good time... It felt like a childish request, but whatever. He was fine with that. Whatever shame he had about it was left wholly back in Japan.

"When we go back to bed, could we... go together again?" He really wasn't ready to let either of them go yet. "If it's okay."

Kyoko had nodded along with Shinji's threats of spoiling, and was already plotting a future of breakfast cake when Kaito piped up with that request, and she had to pause.

"... Huh?" He... was asking just Shinji, right? But then, why would he need to ask? Why would that not be okay? Why say "again" like it was something unusual? Kyoko knew the answer, but she couldn't help trying to avoid it, looking frantically at Shinji. "Huh??" Surely he would object, right?

It's good that there's no room in his heart right now for any jealousy. There's too much tiredness and warmth and worry and gratitude, nothing that can be squeezed out and replaced with any prickly, selfish feelings.

That, of course, doesn't mean the third party involved is going to be able to swallow the request so easily. What Kyoko will see when she looks Shinji's way is him looking awfully calm with the idea of all three of them whisk themselves away to one single bed. He gives her an even level look, sizing up the intensity of that kick of panic before actually answering Kai -

"Only if Kyoko wants to."

But, like, is she going to really going to tell him 'no' after that promise to spoil him? But he's not going to assume, or force her. It's up to you, Kyoko.

Shinji surely was the sweetest boyfriend Kai did not deserve in the slightest. So good. Trying so hard for his dumb partner. Kai loved him so much. He squeezed the other boy's hand, offering that silent thanks for indulging the idea of his request.

He was fully expecting the answer to be a 'no.' There was no shame in asking, but he wasn't going to press very hard. Pretending was just pretending, he wasn't going to be weird about it.

"Yeah," Kai agreed easily. He looked softly over at Kyoko again. "... Don't worry about it though, if you don't."

The only sensible answer would be "no"--surely even Kaito knew that by now. Surely Shinji knew it even better. And even if all innate good sense had been lost, they'd both had plenty of experience with how Kyoko operated. This was obviously a no-go; they should both know better. But the request had still been made, and gone blatantly unopposed.

Ah. These two, they really must not see her in anything but the most innocent, pure light, completely separated from anything resembling desire, like some kind of pet. Maybe that was to be expected. She should probably just be glad she hadn't given herself away a minute ago.

But guilt still tugged at her heart, even as that soft look from Kaito pulled it in the other direction. "You... really don't wanna stop holding hands yet," she concluded quietly, head dipping as she bit her lip. "I get it, but... it's not like it can go on forever, you know."

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