"Nobody was supposed to know. Not... just you." It was true, and she could say it without any hardship, but she couldn't stop shaking all the same. Because she already knew--that wasn't going to cut it.

But what could she say? How could she make him understand without breaking everything?

"Sometimes... wanting is just wanting. You know?" Whether he remembered or not, she didn't wait for him to answer, afraid of what he might say to unravel her, afraid she would unravel on her own if she didn't keep going steadily. "As long as it's only wanting, it can't hurt anyone. But with this... if I tell you about it, or Shinji--or anyone--that's the already same as taking action."