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♥ Who: Noctis and you!
♥ Where: Around town, wherever
♥ When: Now + catchall for April
♥ What: Chocobo acquired! And some other stuff
♥ Rating: PG presumably

[The request from Rawna's temple to visit to pick up an "uncooperative package" had been a confusing one; packages typically show up at his door, they don't require cooperation. Even the heavy ones. The reason is made quite clear when he arrives, however, and is greeted with a very familiar "kweh" noise; there's a chocobo in the temple, near the main statue, and two of the priests are trying to guide her forward but she's not budging an inch. They tug at her reins, they try pushing, but no dice. She doesn't move even the slightest bit until he draws out a little whistle he hasn't used in at least a year and a half. The moment he blows into it, she squawks and comes running right over to greet him. His chest hurts just looking at her, and his fingers brush through her feathers as she nuzzles him in playful recognition. Not just a chocobo, but his chocobo. Or at least, the riding partner he'd claimed for himself during his time in Lucis. His rental would have long expired by the time he reached Gralea, but still, she came right up. She knows him.]

...Hey, buddy… gotta be a paying customer, huh?

( one; i want to ride my chocobo all day 🎵 ) - open

[His chocobo is a sight for sore eyes, and for the whole rest of the day Noctis is wandering through town with a chocobo. Maybe he's riding it, walking at a casual pace and just enjoying the feel of it. Maybe they're racing through the street, weaving around residents with a laughing apology. Maybe he's just walking with her, passing her the occasional green leaf and just indulging in that familiar barn smell.

He probably hasn't looked this happy in months.]

( two; there's a lot of noise at the junior caelum household ) - open

[The less fun part about having a chocobo is caring for one- which means having a place for them. Part of his city wandering involved some shopping, namely for building materials and some tools to get things started. He's not a pro at construction by any means (putting it lightly), and the fine-tuning of transforming part of the garage into a stable will require paying someone else to do the rest. What he does get to do himself is knock down the back wall. And that's exactly what he's doing- blowing off some steam by taking a sledgehammer to the stonework, so there's an open path for Captain to walk in and out of the garden. Turns out, breaking down a wall is fun. Sorry for the noise, roomies. And also anyone who happens to pass by or live close.

The chocobo is with him there as well, lounging in the grass and having a staring contest with the hawk in his mews. Her expression is nothing if not challenging: come at me, fellow bird.]

( wildcard; for extra/unrelated prompts )

[ this is a catch-all for april, whatever you wanna do, hit me up <3 ]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ Her expression immediately turns flat as she shoves aside unwanted emotions and bites her tongue. She withdraws from Captain, having no desire to risk upsetting her. ]

A simple 'no' would have sufficed.

[That makes him frown and look away.]

I get it.

[No one else is allowed to ask the same questions, is it?]

No, you don't.

[ She is more than willing to answer questions, but she won't bother refuting statements. ]

But that's fine. You don't need to get it, just as you don't need to accept any gifts.

If you don't want me to offer anything to you I will refrain from it. You need only say so.

I don't like it as a rule. I just don't want any misunderstandings. You wanna explain it?

[He's already three times on edge from it- the discarded gift from the wrong giver as an assumed bribe, her claim that people only come to her when they want things, then her gifts to him by way of apology. He's a little weary of second-guessing things.]

Proper chocobo grooming is important for the health of their plumage, and an excellent way to bond with them. I have a surplus of preening combs. To give one is of no consequence to me.

[He can't help looking dissatisfied by the response, as it isn't exactly what he meant. He's not sure he wants to push things right now, though. After a long silence, he merely shrugs.]

Fine, whatever then.

[ She purses her lips briefly, feeling a flash of frustration over her apparent inability to parse what Noctis was actually asking. She smothers it down, and debates the merits of seeking clarification before she eventually decides it worth doing. ]

I am not unwilling to answer, but have clearly misinterpreted your question. If you weren't asking about the current situation, what is it you were asking me?

[There's a flicker of surprise when she asks, as he'd figured that was a pretty obvious out. His pause this time isn't to decide whether or not to answer, but how.]

I wanted to know why I can't question your motives the way you do, not why chocobo grooming's important. Maybe I don't get it, but if you're gonna be dismissive then I don't have anything else to say.

That is not what you asked. The answer to 'why can't I question your motives the way you do' is 'you can'. Question me all you like.

[ She rolls her shoulders; shrugging. ]

I am willing to answer as best I can. Just be sure it is a question and not a statement, as I will not argue those.

[He exhales through his nose at that; the temptation to just get on his chocobo and bail is palpable. This all feels aggressively pedantic at the very least.]

Fine, I'll lay it out. You rejected a gift from someone you're on bad terms with because you thought it was a bribe. Now we've been on bad terms, and you sent or offered multiple. What's the difference? When is a gift not a bribe?

[ Era listens attentively, grateful that he was willing to clarify for her what it was he sought. ]

I did, yes. It felt wrong to accept it, so I didn't. I was unfairly rude in my rejection, reacting disgracefully to her claim that you both love me.

[ She gives another, tiny shrug. The tip of her tail twitches, flicking back and forth in a release of anxious energy she doesn't allow to cross her face. ]

I always give gifts on the tenth day of the third month.

[That doesn't exactly answer his question, but for now he doesn't chase it. It's also the first time he's heard her describe a conversation with Pyra in that way, so it catches him somewhat off guard.]

Is that some kind of holiday?

No. It's just— [ She looks somewhere in the vicinity of Captain's feet. ] It is a day I need to remember, because it is the first day I remember.

[???

-Oh. ...Ohhh.]

Uh. [Awkward.] Belated congrats, then.

[ She shrugs again, uncomfortable, and mumbles her thanks. ]

...I should not have sent you letters. It was selfish of me. [ She offers a polite bow of her head. ] I apologize.

[Another surprise; the jump catches him equally off-guard.]

Why?

[She's... apologizing for apologizing?]

I wanted to make sure you didn't blame yourself. [ She lifts a hand to squeeze the auracite shard she wears, letting the familiar, faceted edges press against her skin. The flicking of her tail slows to a stop. ] ...But it doesn't matter what I wanted, or what my intentions were, because I hurt you. Whatever you felt was my fault and there is no erasing that.

[Noctis watches her for a long moment, then glances away, uncomfortable.]

...Yeah, you said that in the letter, too.

[In this case it hardly matters what she wanted, though. She can't stop him from taking whatever blame her words planted in him, any more than she can stop the hurt that grew out of them. That's the past, and there's no changing it. Now she keeps saying she's sorry in different ways, but when she tries to elaborate it ends up being for the wrong reasons.]

So are you apologizing for sending me a letter, or for what you wrote in it?

Both. I should not have written the letter, let alone sent it.

[ Era frowns, frustrated with her ineptitude at expressing herself properly, because it's about so much more than the stupid letters. She tightens the grip she has on her pendant. ]

I am sorry that I hurt you. I am sorry that I continue to hurt you. I'm sorry for allowing my problems to burden you. I'm sorry I never gave you any choice.

I'm sorry for treating you unfairly. I'm sorry I never considered what you wanted. You did not and do not deserve to be treated the way I've treated you.

[ She has tried apologizing too many times already, but perhaps simplicity may be the better choice in this final attempt.

Ignoring her discomfort she finally lifts her head to look at Noctis. Even if he doesn't meet her gaze, she wants him to have the chance to see she isn't shying away from this. ]

I should have asked this far sooner:

What do you want, Noctis?

[He can't meet her eyes at first, quietly debating whether or not to go for it, and how to answer her question.]

The last time I told you something I wanted, it sent all of this spiraling out of control and brought us where we're at now. [I want my family to be whole. It hadn't been a request, or a requirement, but a hope for the future, if they were able to work together and come up with a better way of communicating, or something. She'd taken it as an ultimatum and twisted it beyond what he'd ever meant, ignoring his attempts to correct.] And then when I asked what you wanted, you turned it back on me- that you wanted me to be happy, except you didn't check what that meant.

[He finally looks up to see her expression properly; his own mostly looks tired again, but not angry or critical of her. More... matter-of-fact, as is his tone.]

What I've always wanted is choice. To do what I want, to be with who I want. Other people get to choose for themselves, and if we meet in the middle with it, cool. I meant what I said before: it isn't your responsibility. You need to figure out what you want, and let the rest of us sort ourselves out. If you can't say no, or if you think people only come to you because they want something, then I won't ask for anything. I don't want any part of that.

[He shifts back to begin petting Captain's neck feathers, after she makes a noise and indicates she recognizes the serious atmosphere surrounding them.]

Your first apology sucked. ["Stuck-up bitch." They weren't her words, and it felt empty.] I don't think you were wrong to send the letter. Seems like it gave you some clarity you needed, and you don't have to apologize for that. This one... it was better. I'll take it. [He lifts his shoulders in a shrug.] You don't have to keep apologizing for what happened, I get it. So now what?

[ Her tail goes still at the reminder, and she fights against the instinct to push him away again. Even now she cannot imagine how his family could ever be whole if she is in it, but she's well aware it isn't her choice to make.

Era finally looks back down at her feet, unable to maintain eye contact. ]

...If I truly have no desire to do something I can find other ways to refuse. [ A small, uncertain shrug. ] It is a work-in-progress.

[ As for what she wants... She'll avoid thinking on it for now, and instead answer his question: ]

What happens now is your choice, not mine.

[The idea of that choice being left up to him alone bothers him, and he frowns at her answer, hesitant a moment before climbing up into the chocobo's saddle and setting the reins into position. Immediately Captain is back on alert, straight into work mode, ready to go.]

Keep working at it. You don't have it right just yet... maybe you can get there, though.

[He's hoping, at least. He's not 100% sure what the right answer even is, but he's learning how to recognize what qualifies as not right, bit by bit. She's still not meeting him in the middle, and it's hard to know where you stand when the other side is off-kilter.]

[ Era takes an unnecessary step back as he mounts Captain, giving the two more space to maneuver. In her mind, she forfeited the right to make any choices in the matter the moment she took away his chance to choose for himself. Noctis is the wronged party, so it is up to him how he would like to proceed. ]

Maybe someday, after I've more opportunity to practice. That it's okay to just say 'no', or that it's okay to not be okay... These concepts are far beyond my expertise, but I will keep trying to learn them.

[He pauses again, mulling over those words, before nodding carefully.]

It's weird that it takes practice, but... it does. Try not to let the answer be automatic. It's okay to not answer right away, either, even if you say yes eventually. Might feel more honest if you let yourself think about what you want first. [A few beats, and then,] And listen when other people tell you no, too. It's a two-way street.

[ She listens and nods, then pauses after Noctis' additional comment. Her brows knit together and she frowns faintly, trying to think of what she did that would prompt him to say that. She knows her memory of the past few months is not as clear as she would like, so she doesn't doubt that she did something so awful. ]

I cannot remember not listening to someone telling me 'no'. [ It bothers her, not just because she is sensitive about her memories, but because consent is something important to her. ] But I trust your memories more than my own. I apologize for ignoring such an important thing.

[ Era offers a bow of both apology and farewell, assuming since Noctis has mounted Captain that he intends the conversation to be ending. ]

Thank you for speaking with me, and allowing me to meet Captain.