[ For a few moments, Honerva drifts into quiet, because she had been so caught up in compartmentalizing, dissociating, to truly hear Pyra's words. Because they were dealing with work and for work she needed to be fine. Competent. Useful. There were echoes of their earlier conversation in this, while Pyra had braided her hair, and after all this, didn't that feel as though it were much further away.
You're not a means to an end -- of whatever they might accomplish? Was that not ever the reason she was sought out for such tasks to begin with? Because of her knowledge and how it might be applied, and these results would be of use to them all in some way. These were facts and perhaps it was her own conditioning that led to these attributions. A cause beyond her health. Driving toward success certainly would not take her personal state into consideration unless they did not find her suitable.
Care, that was different. That was a different word, a different implication. Care did not have to do with not being found suitable. Care that could erode lifetimes of denial, if only she knew how to apply that to herself. Earlier she had called Pyra a kindness, and here Pyra was, still a kindness, still presenting herself as a balm to a malady she could not comprehend, though Honerva is not so far gone that it does not strike a chord. ]
... yes, you do. Of course, you do. It is not my intention... to dismiss your cares or your kindness.
[ She just has great difficulty in focusing on her own condition and dealing with that rather than what she sees as the more important matters at hand... but there is reminder in this, that any hurt that befalls herself would hurt those who hold that concern. ]
no subject
You're not a means to an end -- of whatever they might accomplish? Was that not ever the reason she was sought out for such tasks to begin with? Because of her knowledge and how it might be applied, and these results would be of use to them all in some way. These were facts and perhaps it was her own conditioning that led to these attributions. A cause beyond her health. Driving toward success certainly would not take her personal state into consideration unless they did not find her suitable.
Care, that was different. That was a different word, a different implication. Care did not have to do with not being found suitable. Care that could erode lifetimes of denial, if only she knew how to apply that to herself. Earlier she had called Pyra a kindness, and here Pyra was, still a kindness, still presenting herself as a balm to a malady she could not comprehend, though Honerva is not so far gone that it does not strike a chord. ]
... yes, you do. Of course, you do. It is not my intention... to dismiss your cares or your kindness.
[ She just has great difficulty in focusing on her own condition and dealing with that rather than what she sees as the more important matters at hand... but there is reminder in this, that any hurt that befalls herself would hurt those who hold that concern. ]