Not that it isn't a compelling list of similarities, it's just that... "I can't imagine plant problems are nearly as complicated as person problems."

Troubled love lives, complexes, difficulty connecting with others... That's not the kind of thing he's ever going to expect to hear a plant needs any sort of help with. It's a different kind of attentiveness that budding flora require, but one that can probably be pinned down to a science a lot easier than you'd have to give another person.