But the cost is high for him, and for those who are victims of it. He had sounded so distraught, and now his tone, his expression has returned to a cold resolve. She knows this look well: this duty, this future, and perhaps his belief that the end will bring peace to his family, may be all he has to push himself forward to see this through.
Yet this resolution seems to be, to her, him defaulting back to his norm, a way of returning to the shackling comfort of fate, something he's known for thousands of years, rather than admitted it before Rawna's alter. If they don't pull through this, they might be here all night. ]
....Somnus. [ She says quickly, urgently, as if she can bring him back from sinking into that haven of defeatedness. She repeats again, ] --Somnus.
The future.... does not need to cost you your-- humanity. [ Rather, what he believes to be his humanity. She may say that he's not a monster, but that won't help him here. He has to believe it. She attempts to search his expression for any clues; she finds none but his mask, a cover. ] What you feel. What you want, what you think... these things, you can have too.
[ He does want, she knows. He does hope. But she is not foolish: there is something wrong; he never smiles, he never laughs, and his eyes are mirthless. More than that, has she ever seen him do anything for himself? All this time, all this time she's been holding his hand, has he ever even wanted that for himself? Has he sought anything for himself this entire time? How could she have been so blind to this--
What is making him believe otherwise, that he should not feel more? His god? Yet his god could have literally crafted him into an emotionless tool, she believes. Is he denying himself, for the sake of doing what needs to be done? No, no, that can't be right; one can save the future and smile, laugh, cry, and be happy with those one loves in the interim. It is not necessary to forsake humanity to protect that which one loves. She had said emotions are beautiful, that his emotions are beautiful, and to see him like this is...
She squeezes his hand; this tears her tone apart as more of her own emotions, grief for him leaks into her voice. She wonders if these questions will hurt him more or help him, but they need to push through this. ] ...Who, or-- or what is making you believe that you can't or... or shouldn't feel or want? [ Why is he dismissing these feelings, why is he denying himself? ]
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But the cost is high for him, and for those who are victims of it. He had sounded so distraught, and now his tone, his expression has returned to a cold resolve. She knows this look well: this duty, this future, and perhaps his belief that the end will bring peace to his family, may be all he has to push himself forward to see this through.
Yet this resolution seems to be, to her, him defaulting back to his norm, a way of returning to the shackling comfort of fate, something he's known for thousands of years, rather than admitted it before Rawna's alter. If they don't pull through this, they might be here all night. ]
....Somnus. [ She says quickly, urgently, as if she can bring him back from sinking into that haven of defeatedness. She repeats again, ] --Somnus.
The future.... does not need to cost you your-- humanity. [ Rather, what he believes to be his humanity. She may say that he's not a monster, but that won't help him here. He has to believe it. She attempts to search his expression for any clues; she finds none but his mask, a cover. ] What you feel. What you want, what you think... these things, you can have too.
[ He does want, she knows. He does hope. But she is not foolish: there is something wrong; he never smiles, he never laughs, and his eyes are mirthless. More than that, has she ever seen him do anything for himself? All this time, all this time she's been holding his hand, has he ever even wanted that for himself? Has he sought anything for himself this entire time? How could she have been so blind to this--
What is making him believe otherwise, that he should not feel more? His god? Yet his god could have literally crafted him into an emotionless tool, she believes. Is he denying himself, for the sake of doing what needs to be done? No, no, that can't be right; one can save the future and smile, laugh, cry, and be happy with those one loves in the interim. It is not necessary to forsake humanity to protect that which one loves. She had said emotions are beautiful, that his emotions are beautiful, and to see him like this is...
She squeezes his hand; this tears her tone apart as more of her own emotions, grief for him leaks into her voice. She wonders if these questions will hurt him more or help him, but they need to push through this. ] ...Who, or-- or what is making you believe that you can't or... or shouldn't feel or want? [ Why is he dismissing these feelings, why is he denying himself? ]