awooligan: (w (11))
Clifford Norman ([personal profile] awooligan) wrote in [community profile] hugtopia_logs2021-11-01 07:44 pm

'no' is the saddest experience you'll ever know.

Who: Cliff Norman and whoever wants to put up with him.
Where: various.
When: Early November.
What: A sad wolf is a bad wolf.
Warnings: Cursing, Hell content in Héctor thread naturally.


[ one - the loneliest number. teen house. ]

[He doesn't know why he hasn't taken Kaito up on his offer before, especially since he's made a point to walk by his house a couple times to check on it or make sure it existed in the first place. The damage done by the worms isn’t enough to take out the place or make it unsafe, thankfully -- and it even leaves the task of quietly getting inside through a window even easier! Not that he couldn't use some difficulty as a good distraction from feelings he's trying very hard to ignore. Before he goes to climb inside, he makes a quick pass to see if the garden is likewise a survivor from October’s big wormy mess.

And then he's in a home that isn't his. It's weirdly soothing for someone that never relished the idea of spending time in his own home growing up, even if it's far from the window he'd really like to be climbing through. Nothing to do about that...and at least here he could feel vaguely welcome. Both Kaito and Shinji had invited him in the past! It's fine. Cliff is several steps across the room and listening for signs of anyone else being around before he calls,]


Hellooo? Anyone home?

[...decidedly not from the front door.]

[ two - just as bad as one. héctor. ]

[hahahahahahaaa fuck everything about this. He honestly hadn't meant to avoid Héctor all month, but with the worm drama on top of his dumb tender feelings, there hasn't been a good time. That's what he's choosing to tell himself so that he doesn't get frustrated all over again thinking about all the thinking he's had to do.

In the end, Héctor is still Héctor, whether he's the one Cliff knew or not. He knew he wasn't the same and had plenty of reason for that. What mattered most right now was that they were both, more or less, doing okay -- something Clifford had been able to be sure of without getting too close, thankfully, because of his nose.

Now he's getting close. So close, in fact, that he's right at the door and scratching at it with his claws, full wolf. He's...fairly confident that Héctor would be the one to answer any call to the door in this household, from what little experience he's had with Nekane, but if not? He's leaning into the anxious hope that one of the things shared in this -- bleh -- marriage is not the fact that Cliff is a big dumb werewolf.]


[ three - dog night. open. ]

[The scariest part of the worm attack, surprisingly, was not the worms. It was that moment he went to become the wolf and felt like there were hooks on the inside holding him together, refusing to let him change without a fight. He'd fallen to the ground in agony that only lightened when he finally stopped trying to shift and let that part of himself go. Cliff didn't flaunt the fact that he was a werewolf -- basically, anyway -- but not being allowed it, even on his own? Terrifying. He'd barely managed to get his head back on straight enough to shuffle citizens and helpers back towards the safety of the town center, and had been grasping at any chance to help defend.

It's still screwing him up a little, but Cliff’s making the most of getting himself back, going around the city as a red, juvenile wolf watching life get back to normal and honing in on interesting sights and smells.

Of course, the boy in the red hoodie with eyes like an animal can be found wandering as well. Usually out running at any odd hour or stuck behind a counter doing his best to act like someone who knew how to be polite.]
daikonrose: (158)

[personal profile] daikonrose 2021-11-06 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Cliff...? While all this explanation fell on her ears, Kyoko had stayed stuck on her loading screen as she searched her memory for that name. It wasn't until now that she came back to life, eyes going wide as she pointed at him again. ]

Oh! Oh!!!

[ Social Butterfly Project! ]

You! [ What was that gesture towards the window? Nevermind, don't overthink it right now. More importantly: ] I didn't know you'd be coming! [ She twisted to give quick glances to the boys behind her. ] --Hey, we should make more for dinner then, right?? [ Swiveling back to Cliff without waiting for them to answer. ] --Is there anything you can't eat?
astralera: (pic#13837511)

[personal profile] astralera 2021-11-06 04:22 pm (UTC)(link)
[ With a broader range of experience with teenagers to work with, Era has concluded that she only really dislikes them when they're being stupid, realize they're being stupid, and then double-down on being stupid. ]

That would involve applying pressure to a severed bone, which I can assure you is very uncomfortable.
astralera: (Default)

[personal profile] astralera 2021-11-06 05:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[ While far stronger than the average person, Era's body is still that of a mortal woman and subject to the same weaknesses if she isn't careful. Her strength is in her magical prowess, which is what she uses to enhance her physical abilities, but it's hardly infallible.

And, if she's honest, the fact that rock-and-metal eating worms were the only thing to have ever damaged either of her horns... Well, it makes her quite proud of how sturdy her horns are. ]


Mmhm. A worm bit off my horn, but it meant my friend's head was safe. [ So as much as she hates this, she would have hated losing her first and best native friend even more. ]
unpocoloco: (Sad smile)

[personal profile] unpocoloco 2021-11-06 05:32 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's real fucked up, but people might actually be nice. What an unfortunate thing to feel. How nice it is that it's not just him that feels it.

For a second, he laughs, because it would be just like people to insist that they're not any good, despite all evidence to the contrary. Nekane was the worst for it, but so many people he's met couldn't stand to hear such a thing either.

And then the humor dies, his face twisting as he looks distinctly ill.]


No. Definitely no human puppet shows. [He shudders, remembering Dodger's puppetted jaw, Squalo hoisting the decapitated head up on his hand.

But he thinks about that. Being taken apart, having everything taken from him... he would still make coffee in the morning for Nekane. He would wander the city for no other reason than to wander it. He would ponder how best to bring home books or bad films and he would greet the people he passed. Whether or not he wore his scars, his losses, he would still go about these same simple things. He's quiet for a long moment, considering it all.]


I do like that fountain. Maybe a little more considering the gods didn't just sit idly. But I like my places in the plazas. [He smiles faintly, weakly. He turns his face up.]

Really messed up to think that everything might be okay... I think you might be right.
whenyouneedme: (154)

[personal profile] whenyouneedme 2021-11-06 10:44 pm (UTC)(link)
The wagon's all yours.

[There was only one other person to come rolling in to the scene, and that was the orange with googly eyes rolling around past their feet and down the hallway to a different room. Hi Bug. Bye Bug. There was no time for fruit insect introductions, and it seemed like there didn't need to be that many people ones either. How about that!

Kai glanced at the window and chuckled. Yeah that seemed right, and so did the prospect of getting more dinner going. Kyoko swerved the questions back to Cliff, but Kai still nodded his approval with a 'mhmm.']
daikonrose: (300)

[personal profile] daikonrose 2021-11-10 04:24 am (UTC)(link)
[ It's just obvious that he would be here for dinner? Is there something else people invite each other to their houses for?? It all seems very natural to Kyoko, even the part where Kaito neglected to mention anyone was joining them tonight, jeez. But it's fine! Of course they're feeding him!!! ]

Tonkatsu! [ There's the tiniest pause as Kyoko takes in Cliff in all his natural ginger, definitely not Japanese, glory, and then she decides to clarify.] Fried pork cutlets, I mean. With kabocha soup! And then you can join us in our kabocha pie studies too.
unpocoloco: (Sense of peace)

[personal profile] unpocoloco 2021-11-11 04:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[He snorts but says nothing. He just grins a little, wry and imagining the things Cliff must know about him in his strange alternate-worldly way. A him that's younger and him that's less... that's more what he wants to be.

He doesn't want to think about that for long. It hurts. So in truth, he's grateful for the distraction. At least for a moment.

The next moment his heart squeezes in a way that isn't good at all. And then he just feels sorry.]


No. [He answers softly, quiet.] I would've made sure. I'd want to know you weren't a cultist, that you weren't an Aegle. I might've hurt or threatened you, ruined things between us, but I'd make sure. Then, when I was sure, I would've killed you. But, no, I wouldn't have liked it.

[They were monsters. He's not sorry for them. But still... His eyes close.]

I've fought demons. I suppose you can count killing monsters. But as far as another person, I've only killed one. I don't regret it. He deserved it. And it needed to be done.

But it felt awful. It doesn't leave my head. You lose something of yourself, doing that. I lost something...
Edited 2021-11-12 05:38 (UTC)
astralera: (Default)

[personal profile] astralera 2021-11-12 05:34 pm (UTC)(link)
So? [ She could tell him of her combat precognition, but doesn't see the point in it, because— ] It didn't bite off my head.

[ Ergo, it doesn't matter. ]
astralera: (Default)

[personal profile] astralera 2021-11-12 05:43 pm (UTC)(link)
But it didn't.
unpocoloco: (Oh kid)

[personal profile] unpocoloco 2021-11-12 05:55 pm (UTC)(link)
[Yes, he thinks, Dodger was a monster. No, he thinks, Dodger was just a stupid, stupid man. Before he needs to do anymore to untangle the thoughts, Cliff has gone on and he realizes that the comment wasn't to do with Dodger at all.

He listens to the tale. It's not hard to grasp what would have happened if Cliff had, in that moment, chosen to be merciful. There'd be no mercy at all. And yet, still, Cliff bore punishment for it. He stops too.]


Oh, kid. [He says it quiet. Cliff is a kid again and he reaches, for once wanting to touch, to comfort, but he doesn't. His fingers find the loose edge of Cliff's sweater, hanging there like that's the same as hanging onto him.] I'm so sorry.

[Sorry he knows the feeling. Sorry about the fear.]

...Fear involves choices. You chose to stick around me. Oscar chose, I hope, to stick around you despite that. You and I both know the way people will trick and hurt you, the way monsters don't wait for you to make a choice. It doesn't feel great on the other end of that fear, but... but it might be good to remember it'll keep them safe. Monsters don't wait. The others sorts... only make you compromise, not them. But someone you can trust will... they'll take the steps with you. As long as the fear isn't so great we can't do that, then it's okay.

[He smiles faintly, something bittersweet.]

It's a lot more tedious than the days of trusting everyone and being sure of one's own limits, thinking the world is normal. But I think it's still worth while to work through.
astralera: (Default)

[personal profile] astralera 2021-11-12 10:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Of course I had to. [ Her tail flicks irritably on the ground behind her. ] He was going to die if I didn't.
unpocoloco: (Sad smile)

[personal profile] unpocoloco 2021-11-12 11:31 pm (UTC)(link)
[The little touch is so small, so tentative. It matches Cliff's words, both fragile and yet easy to hold. Both mean everything, a balm on his heart.

He smiles the smallest of smiles.]


I think I'll still be... a little careful. I want you to feel safe.

[How rare that feeling could be. He knows it will take work. But this is, in a sense, what they're doing.]

But I'm... very glad to hear that. You're a good kid in your own right, you know? Not just because of a shared tie to Coco. Naturally, I trust you too.

[It had always been easy, in a way. The relationship itself perhaps was rocky, but he didn't doubt Cliff once-- only when he wasn't sure if Cliff truly was himself. Cliff knew him in ways most people didn't. He'd never worried about that.]

...Nekane learned those hard lessons earlier than I did, relatively. They're not so quick to trust, much quicker to act. That extends to me. But, while they'd rather chew glass than admit it, they're still that angel at heart. They see good in people. And they'll see you're good too.

I can't make them apologize and the choice is still yours to forgive, if ever. But as far as I'm concerned, you're still, and always, welcome. In the family, in my home, or just around.
Edited 2021-11-13 00:05 (UTC)

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