[Noctis wishes he could call the mutual non-answer comforting in some way, but it truly isn't. Neither of them know. Neither of them will know. And to hear that it's up to him to decide whether they obey or rebel against the ancient gods who've organized their family's entire relationship between life and death for two thousand years, that it's his call if they save or doom the whole planet... terrifying. It feels like the moment when Cor confirmed the death of his father, that he was king now, and that every decision he made going forward would ripple outwards and affect so many more people than himself and his small group of friends. Broken as Lucis was, people still looked to him for guidance. And who the hell was he? Barely an adult, sheltered and protected his whole life, hardly knew a damn thing about the politics and geography of the world he'd never seen until then. He'd fought gods, but not for real. He'd fought daemons but not fate itself.
Was he just... taking the easy road again? Doing what he's been told, acting as the obedient puppet against the best interests of their home, believing that obviously the gods know best and are instructing him like an adult might direct a small child in the ways of the world. That can't be so, can it? Bahamut chose this because it's the only way. Anything he might attempt on his own terms would only fail and doom everyone. Countless failures in his own past should have taught him that much. Relying on this plan is safer, and it's not like it's easy to die. It's...
...he doesn't know. He doesn't know. His head's too full to think straight about it, anyway, and all his thoughts only run in circles and hit a hundred different walls trying to make sense of it all. Ultimately he just chokes on a breath and slumps into Ardyn's hug, clutching at his shirt, trying not to sob like a child over all the things he doesn't know and all the things he knows now but shouldn't. It's too much. All of this is too much for one or two people to carry, but somehow they're expected to, every time.
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Was he just... taking the easy road again? Doing what he's been told, acting as the obedient puppet against the best interests of their home, believing that obviously the gods know best and are instructing him like an adult might direct a small child in the ways of the world. That can't be so, can it? Bahamut chose this because it's the only way. Anything he might attempt on his own terms would only fail and doom everyone. Countless failures in his own past should have taught him that much. Relying on this plan is safer, and it's not like it's easy to die. It's...
...he doesn't know. He doesn't know. His head's too full to think straight about it, anyway, and all his thoughts only run in circles and hit a hundred different walls trying to make sense of it all. Ultimately he just chokes on a breath and slumps into Ardyn's hug, clutching at his shirt, trying not to sob like a child over all the things he doesn't know and all the things he knows now but shouldn't. It's too much. All of this is too much for one or two people to carry, but somehow they're expected to, every time.
He doesn't know, and he hates it.]