[ For a moment, that's all she says, all she can say, focusing on his words, and their connected hands, instead of her mind's dangerous cacophonies. She hadn't wanted to worry Lup with any of it, not with how much she had on her own plate, staying stable, so had just doubled down on it all herself. Habit, it was, and yet --
I'm not prepared to lose you -- those words stick, chasing away the echoes. ]
... you're right. I know... I know that you understand, for all those reasons. And it is so much that I... the worry takes me, for Lup, for my son, or that I too, could become someone else, and... the present can be ever elusive, when... focus provides such an outlet. You... you already know that I have been lost to such paths before and I cannot even see when it is that I stray.
[ It had been a lot to even admit her fears, but wasn't that part of the journey? To be able to do so openly, especially to one who understood so well... ]
no subject
[ For a moment, that's all she says, all she can say, focusing on his words, and their connected hands, instead of her mind's dangerous cacophonies. She hadn't wanted to worry Lup with any of it, not with how much she had on her own plate, staying stable, so had just doubled down on it all herself. Habit, it was, and yet --
I'm not prepared to lose you -- those words stick, chasing away the echoes. ]
... you're right. I know... I know that you understand, for all those reasons. And it is so much that I... the worry takes me, for Lup, for my son, or that I too, could become someone else, and... the present can be ever elusive, when... focus provides such an outlet. You... you already know that I have been lost to such paths before and I cannot even see when it is that I stray.
[ It had been a lot to even admit her fears, but wasn't that part of the journey? To be able to do so openly, especially to one who understood so well... ]
But... you see me.
[ Here, afraid. ]