carbungle: nxctcaelum @ tumblr (221)
Noctis Lucis Caelum ([personal profile] carbungle) wrote in [community profile] hugtopia_logs 2020-10-10 06:43 pm (UTC)

That's not so different, either.

[There were days in the past, when he was halfway to adulthood even, when he saw his father the way he'd been when he was still a small child: powerful, invincible, perpetual. Seeing him with a cane had shattered that illusion and made him realize what was not only inevitable but coming far, far sooner than he was prepared for. It was something he'd struggled with right up until his father's death, and the ache of what could have been still lingers even now. Knowing you'll live past someone else, knowing they suffer, being unable to change their fate... that part's the same. But for her, the scale must be so different.

How many people have they had to see die, he wonders. Not just- the distant, unspecific number of a continent falling. That's horrible, unthinkable, but the ache is different. When Tenebrae and Insomnia fell to the empire there was guilt and horror, but the loss of Luna and his father was different. There'd been known faces amongst that number. How much have they seen?]


It... would be easier to not have them. Right? To just think, but not feel anything. [There sure are days when he wishes that.] That's part of you, though.

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