He really very much would have liked to have just sat on this whole memory and let Shinji have as much peace as he was able. But if that meant he would have gotten it back by accident while they were doing anything else, well. That'd probably be a whole lot worse. Kai could only regret that he hadn't been able to figure out how to really give him a heads up.

He could at the very least try to be something sturdy Now. If he felt absolutely sick to his stomach, it was no wonder there were tears. Kai carefully pulled Shinji towards him, as slow and gingerly as he could. No more sudden grasps by force, no more frantic panic. (No more weird kisses that had definitely left an uncomfortable taste in Kai's mouth.) If Shinji wanted to break away, there was every opportunity to.

But if he let Kai get away with it, then the blonde was tucking him right there against his chest. "Go ahead," Kai said very softly to him. "Let it out. I-I'm sorry I didn't-- there was. A lot."