[ Guilt comes from having ruined so much before, from having sundered so much of their land in an already dying world, and also from having forgotten all of that loss in the bliss that is love. She's fallen, and she's fallen so far from what she once was, from what she feels had been meant to be-- just observing, just lying in wait at the Architect's side, just being there until it was time to scrap all of the world again. She fears confirming a future just because of this instinct, a feeling she has. His hope lies in her feelings being.... wrong.
It stings, thinking more about it.
Are they not all wrong to begin with? It's not as if she should have them, anyway. Yet as she looks at him, she can't help but feel them for him. A love for him, a guilt at loving him because it distracts her from how much others have suffered, then fear if it is all wrong, all wrong. Her gaze lifts as he touches her shoulder, drops, then moves sidelong to the grass; she is unable to meet his eyes, hurt. The bell still tolls.
Be brave, they've both said. He makes her feel brave, she had said, but this proves to him that she's been nothing but a coward the entire time. With her hypocrisy bared to him, how can she not feel even worse? In this moment, he makes her feel little and wrong. ]
1/2
It stings, thinking more about it.
Are they not all wrong to begin with? It's not as if she should have them, anyway. Yet as she looks at him, she can't help but feel them for him. A love for him, a guilt at loving him because it distracts her from how much others have suffered, then fear if it is all wrong, all wrong. Her gaze lifts as he touches her shoulder, drops, then moves sidelong to the grass; she is unable to meet his eyes, hurt. The bell still tolls.
Be brave, they've both said. He makes her feel brave, she had said, but this proves to him that she's been nothing but a coward the entire time. With her hypocrisy bared to him, how can she not feel even worse? In this moment, he makes her feel little and wrong. ]