He knows what this conversation means. Hell, he can feel the tension like something heavy caught in his chest. He's only ever been patient with Coil, waiting for him to find the right words, the right composition of things to say that are so measured and precise. Everything he says is with purpose. Carl sees that sign and nods, wetting his lips. Yeah, he's afraid, too.

Then that one sign morphs into many and the weight in his chest drops to his stomach. Because they always leave. It feels like a kick in the teeth because isn't that the goddamn truth? Why it's been so hard to feel settled? Like if he closes his eye someone else he cares about will disappear, too. The sad thing about it is that that was normal in the Fleet. Didn't make it hurt any less, though.. Carl nods once, looking at Coil before his gaze falls to his own hands. He wrings them together before offering a sign between them. 'Me too.'

"Losing people is never easy. Back home, I lost people all the time. I thought that after a while, I'd just feel sort of numb to it? But it never felt that way. It's always going to hurt. Then I came to the Fleet and it kept happening.. but just because someone's disappearance doesn't mean they died doesn't make it not suck.. If I'm being honest? It sucked when you all left."