[ Trouble... what a word to use. So hard to put any words to this, and so she had not used any, until now. ]

... it is... difficult. We get along... well. He looks to me for advice, of all things, sometimes, and ... so favorably.

[ At least the twins knew what was what with her, and accept her anyway, but with him she felt unreal somehow. Even with her measured tone, it's not easy to miss her uncertainty for all of it, where she wavers. ]

However, during that meeting, he was... demonstrative. It was so--sudden. He took my breath away in a way that I...